The Exile and the Outcast
by Vector 71
Summary: Aven, an Ardat-Yakshi fleeing her home after the Reapers invade, crash lands on a strange, unknown planet and is cared for by Merrill, a powerful elven blood mage. Both are drawn to the inner demons of the other. From their union, a perverse relationship is formed.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I want to give you all fair warning: this is going to be a dark story. There will be mature themes in it and all sorts of twists and turns. I'm open to your feedback and always love comments, favorites, follows, PMs, etc._

_Special thanks to Bebus for editing and helping me develop the ideas for this story! _

Chapter 1: The Demon of the Night Wind

"What are those things?! What are they doing to us?" Aven Calantha desperately held the hand of her lifetime friend, Perah. Both asari had never seen destruction like they had witnessed in the past few hours. They had known only a life of peaceful seclusion, shut off from the rest of the galaxy and taught by priestesses who showed them how to be content with their lives and live independently off of the land. But a day prior, a large and terrible ship appeared in the sky above the monastery that the asari called home. Mutated creatures landed and quickly overtook the once peaceful haven. The monsters started rounded up the unsuspecting inhabitants and quickly changed them into twisted, evil monsters that were no longer recognizable as asari.

Nearly 100 asari called the monastery home. For many, they had been there since maturity and were uncomfortable among any others but their own kind. Some had never even met aliens. Xalantia was a beautiful planet, covered in 85% clear, tropical water, lush with primitive life-forms and dense plants growing to form a rain-forest over most of the land. The monastery sat next to the banks of the sea on the north and west and the forest on the south and east.

Xalantia was one of the hidden sanctuaries for the Ardat-Yakshi, pureblooded asari that harbored a horrible neurological condition that caused them to be incapable of melding with others without risk of killing them. Once an Ardat-Yakshi experienced the rush and emotions associated with the meld and complete domination of another's mind, it became an addiction that required more and more minds until the Ardat-Yakshi became a predator and consumed with killing. The disease was a result of genetics and chance, was incurable and left the one labeled as such with a choice: death or seclusion.

The intruders seemed to be targeting the Ardat-Yakshi, turning the unsuspecting asari into mindless monsters capable of killing anything in their path with their enhanced biotic abilities. The creatures, once beautiful and vibrant asari, were drained of their blue color and unique features, becoming ghost-like creatures with dead eyes and long claws, even horrifically distended bellies, as though completing the perversion of the genetically sterile Ardat-Yakshi. Their only form of communication were shrieking calls that rang throughout the once peaceful monastery as more and more of the inhabitants were transformed into the true corporal form of the Demon of the Night Winds.

The two asari had remained hidden in an unused wing. They had been in special classes aimed at making them assistants to the head priestess. Both had excelled in learning the native life on Xalantia and demonstrated kindness and patience to their 'sisters'. They were as yet undetected, but they could hear the screams of their possessed sisters approaching. With tears streaking down their faces, Aven and Perah clung to each other for what they realized could be their last chance for compassion and companionship.

"I am so afraid, Aven… What are we going to do?" Perah looked around in desperation, but there was nowhere left to go.

"We need to get out of here… we should try and get outside. Maybe they have not searched the grounds yet. We could hide in the rainforest… we've been taught how to live there and have even gone for trips there." Aven's mind started racing, trying desperately to think of a solution that could save their lives. "We just need to get to the exit. We can do this Perah… we just need to be quiet and no one will miss us."

The two held each other and then nodded their agreement. The back entry was not far and the howling calls were coming from the other direction. It was time for them to make a break for some sort of freedom.

"Come on, now!" Aven grabbed Perah's hand and the two took off running for the door that would take them to the back entryway.

"Looks clear… We should go." Perah dashed ahead, she could see the light of the sun shining in through the window. The day looked beautiful, with the sun shining brightly and the chirping sounds of the various life-forms calling to each other, the beauty perversely mirroring the horrors behind them. She reached for the door and opened it. Warm air greeted her skin and the tropical, earthy smell of the forest wafted into the room. She looked back to make sure that Aven was still following her, and fear swept through her as she saw a look of pure horror on the face of her friend.

"No…"Aven cried out as the claws of a demon lashed out and picked up Perah like a doll. Aven's instincts overtook her conscious thoughts and she ran at full speed into the forest. She did not look back or stop to see her friend slowly be transformed into a monster, but the screams followed her all the way to the tree line and beyond.

Aven ran until her muscles burned and her breath would no longer fill her lungs. It had seemed like hours and she was miles away from the structure of the building that had been her home. She was alone and felt exposed and afraid.

_Those things just came and killed all of my sisters. Yesterday we were worried about how to tie the proper knots for our fish nets and today everyone is gone. They are monsters… those shrieks… I will never get them out of my mind… Why did this happen? Perah…my friend, I am so sorry. I did not know what to do except run… Why did those things get you and not me?_

Tears streaked down the cerulean face of the asari. Her robes were torn and stained with sweat and dirt from the jungle. Insects swarmed around the sobbing form of Aven, but she hardly noticed.

_Focus… you must focus on what is around you… Crying will not make this better… I must be ready to survive on my own… I must know my surroundings and take stock of what I have._

The need to survive was a strong one for Aven. She knew the jungle and was not one to shy away from it, but she had never been in such mortal danger before. They were not even allowed to watch violent vids in the monastery, and she had just witnessed horrors not even the most gruesome scary story told by her sisters in the dead of night could come close to. She trembled helplessly as she imagined what would become of her if she was found… before she shook herself. Forcing herself to think about familiar things that she had some control over gave her comfort and a task to keep her mind focused on.

Looking up to the sky, she could still see the form of the enormous ship hovering over the atmosphere of the planet itself twisting around the unnatural form. It looked like a giant creature, looming in the sky, about to land on the building below. From her vantage point in the jungle, Aven could see smaller ships that seemed to be shuttling back and forth from the ship to the monastery.

For two days, she hardly moved. Aven watched the coming and going of the smaller ships and lived in continual fear of being discovered, forcing herself to stay awake. On the morning of the third day, the asari watched as one final ship seemed to leave the grounds. The larger vessel engulfed it and then a red light brightened the sky. A beam came from the intruder and targeted the monastery. Aven watched in horror as her home was reduced to scrap metal as the beam ignited it. The destruction took less than 30 minutes and when it was over, a smoldering pile of rubble and exposed beams were all that was left of the once peaceful monastery. The ship, its task completed, turned towards the sky and left her world.

Tears returned to the eyes of Aven as she realized that she was likely the only living survivor of the monastery. Grief, exhaustion and lack of nourishment overtook her, and she collapsed in her hiding spot within the jungle.

* * *

The jungle sounds were soothing and familiar. It was a warm day, slightly humid and the smells of the living wilderness filled the air. Aven knew the scent and the feel; they were her home and a piece of normalcy. For just a moment, the realization of what happened only a day ago was not taking up her thoughts. Aven focused on a more primitive urge, food and water. The flush of emotions and adrenaline had left her system and now the pangs of hunger were taking their place. Her survival instinct started taking over as Aven used her eyes to scan for the familiar sight of kobi fruit, a greenish-blue skinned fruit that was commonly found growing in the jungle. Within minutes, her attuned senses were able find a dozen of the fist size edibles. She wasted no time in peeling the skin and devouring the fleshy, sweet nectar of the kobi fruit.

An acidic smell tainted the normal scents of the jungle. It was heavy and left a distinctive taste in the asari's mouth and throat, almost like a burn. Aven had never been exposed to the sensation before and she started looking around for the cause of the noxious smell. In the distance, she could see faint wisps of smoke rising from what had once been the monastery and her home. The realization hit: the smell was coming from the smoldering remains of the structure. Curiosity and horror both snuck into her thoughts.

_I must go back. I need to see if anyone else escaped or if anyone is hurt._ She trembled at the thought of facing those… _things_ again. Deep inside though, she needed to know if she was truly alone. The idea of it shook her to her core, but she was compelled to know the fate of her friends.

The trek back to the monastery took hours. Aven moved slowly and gathered supplies as she made her way homeward. At any noise, she stopped and held her breath, waiting for the wail of her deformed sisters to overtake her senses, but none were heard. The horror now lay in her mind, as her imagination played all sorts of evil tricks on her. When she finally arrived, the sun was starting to sink below the horizon. Shadows were stretching out, adding an eerie feel to the tomblike state of the monastery.

_I should have left sooner! It's almost dark and I don't want to be looking around without the sun up. I was stupid to come back! No… I need to know… I need to see what is left… I have to…_

Aven made herself stop and breathe. She used the calming techniques that had been part of her daily life for the past 375 years. Mediation and clarity, those were what the priestesses always taught: calm your mind and a path will appear… to walk it or not becomes your choice. She counted to 10 and then exhaled deeply. The fear was still there, but she knew she needed to face the ruins of her home.

The destruction was unthinkable and the monastery was completely unrecognizable. The final shot from the ship as it left orbit had caused the roof to implode. The internal structures looked melted and the many levels looked like they had collapsed in on themselves. There was nothing left but total and complete ruin.

There were no corpses or even evidence of the invaders except for the wake of destruction that they had left behind.

_My home_… Tears filled her eyes and the memory of Perah came back to her and her cowardice at running away. "I am so sorry… Why did this happen?" Her voice was full of anger and fear as she yelled her admission and question to the wind. _Think… I can't stay here… There is nothing here for me… I must find a way to leave…_

As tears fell and anger coursed through her, Aven walked around the perimeter of the smoldering debris. Her mind was racing, again trying to deal with the guilt of surviving and the hopelessness that she now was feeling.

Her trek had taken her to a forbidden section of the monastery's grounds. These were tucked back into the jungle and there were a number of smaller structures that were still intact.

_What are those? Maybe someone is hiding inside?_

Approaching the buildings, trying to cast off the decades of conditioning that she was forbidden from entering the place, Aven looked for signs of a door. It took some exploration, but she finally found an entrance tucked away. It was obvious that no one had used the building for some time. She had to call on her strength and her natural biotic abilities to open the door. The effort pushed her past fatigue and she was running on pure adrenaline.

_I hate the dark…_

The fear was irrational, but had always been part of her ever since she was a child. The dark brought feelings of isolation and her mind used it to create all sorts of unknown horrors that could lie in wait for her. The sight of the wailing banshees that had once been her friends was now forefront in her mind. She held her breath and shut her eyes, hoping that the quiet would allow her to focus on whatever might be waiting. There was nothing… just more blackness and questions.

_I cannot see anything and it does not look like anyone's been in here. I should find a place to curl up and rest. Once the sun rises, I will be able to better look around._

Though the idea of rest in a building was somewhat reassuring, the darkness still harbored ill feelings in the asari. She found a spot that was against a wall and made herself close her eyes. She was tired and the use of biotics, coupled with the hike and all she had been through let her find sleep.

* * *

Daybreak was a welcome sight to the asari. Rays of light streamed into the building and Aven could see that there was a large control panel just to her right. She moved closer to inspect it. At her touch, lights flickered and within minutes, the darkness of the room was filled with the lights from an overhead source. Aven had activated the automatic power generator and now could properly explore her surroundings.

"Greetings, madam." An artificial voice made the unsuspecting asari nearly jump out of her skin. A small, circular drone appeared before Aven and was the source of the voice.

"What are you?" Aven asked inquisically.

"I am Alpha 21385, a VI drone." The mechanical voice answered matter of factly. "I am automatically programmed to come online when the emergency power has been activated. Please enter your identification."

"My name is Aven Calantha and I am… or was a resident at the monastery."

"Searching…" The drone was quiet as it attempted to retrieve whatever data it was looking for. "I am unable to verify… It seems that the main computer is not functional. Activating emergency mode."

"Can you help me? I need to get out of here!" Aven asked the drone, desperation tainting each word.

"I am in emergency mode. I cannot allow for Ardat-Yakshi to leave the monastery, it is against my programming. Since I cannot confirm your identity, you will not be allowed access to anything more than medical supplies and food rations."

Aven's stomach sank and panic started to overcome her again, "Wait… there are supplies? Please help me… Please show me where they are…"

"Follow me…" The drone started moving away from the entrance and the control panel and led Aven to a back stairwell. At the bottom, the drone seemed to key in some code and the door opened.

Aven's breath caught in her throat as the lights came on. A large warehouse was before her with all sorts of supplies, enough to last for years if she needed them.

"You are free to look around and make use of whatever food or medical supplies you need. There are also clothes and other supplies for basic living that you may access." The drone stopped, looking like it was thinking, "Other items, like weapons and the ship will not be accessible until I can confirm your identity."

_Ship… there is a ship?_ Aven did not speak out loud, but forced herself to remain controlled and nonreactive. She needed the assistance of the drone for now, but realized that she would need to locate the ship and figure out a way to access it by herself. _They would take great measures to make sure that any Ardat-Yakshi would not escape the monastery. _

She proceeded into the warehouse to fully assess what she had in the way of food and potential shelter. Things were organized and labeled and within an hour, Aven was eating her first real meal since the attack. She also set up an area that would serve as a bed, complete with sheets and pillows. But the whole time she kept her eyes open for the mystery ship and her way to get away from the destroyed monastery and all of its evil memories.

* * *

Weeks went by and Aven decided to spend her time either looking for the ship or meditating on how to make her escape. The drone left her alone, unless she called upon it for companionship. Her time alone made her feel more like a prisoner and for the first time in her life, she started to understand that the monastery was just that, a prison. The realization that the monastery was a place to lock away the feared Ardat-Yakshiand keep them all together, away from asari society, hiding their _shameful _existence from other species was a hard thing to think of.

_I am seen as a monster, but the asari have never experienced the horrors of what happened here. They are cruel to keep us so hidden and doomed to a life alone. Mediation and peace, ha! I will never know peace again!_

She had been wandering around to a part of the warehouse she had not explored yet and there it was… a sleek shuttle that looked large enough to seat a half dozen asari. Looking around for evidence of the drone, Aven stepped closer to get a better view of the shuttle. Without warning, an alarm sounded and the drone appeared before her.

"Please step away from the shuttle. You are not authorized to be in this area. You have 30 seconds to vacate and return to approved sections. After that, the automatic defenses will engage." The drone was silent and then a countdown could be heard.

Aven did not hesitate; she ran back to her makeshift camp, grabbed a package of food and headed out into the jungle.

_Even with no one else alive, I still have restrictions. I do not understand why I am so feared and hated by my own people. All I can ever remember from my youth were my parent's faces, they looked terrified of me and I could tell that my existence caused them both pain. Father would not even see me off when mother took me to the shuttle. I was still so young and I had no idea what was happening to me. I was called Ardat-Yakshi and cast away from everyone_… Aven started crying at her memories. "I have always been alone… I will always be alone…"

Emotions started overtaking the asari, anger and pain ran through her. Without the guidance of the priestesses, Aven's biotics flared. A blue light encircled her being and a surge of power ran through her. She could feel the charge and wanted nothing more than to aim her fury at something… the drone.

Walking back inside the building that had become her home, Aven narrowed her eyes and an evil grin swept across her face. She saw the control panel before her, it was fairly large and even someone that had not had much training in the use of biotics offensively, could hit the target. Fury and rage - at the monsters that intruded, at the short sighted views of her people, and the overwhelming desire to be free of her gilded cage - swept through her, and she grasped the burning feelings, turning them against the only target she could find: the drone's control panel.

Aven let out a wordless cry as the biotic power flowed through her and finally burst from her outstretched hand, reducing the control panel into nothing more than shrapnel. Pieces of the panel flew away from the asari, as her biotic spark faded. She felt invigorated at the rush of energy that she had been able to summon and control, and felt more empowered than she had since she had come to this forsaken place.

"I don't need you… drone! I don't need anyone!" Aven screamed at the destroyed piece of machinery. Adrenaline was surging through her and she focused her thoughts on the ship… on leaving the damned planet and the smoldering ruins of what had been her naive life. With the drone gone, the ship was waiting.

Aven took her time in assembling the supplies that she thought she might need: food, water, medical supplies, bedding, and extra clothes. She found the small arsenal of weapons and decided that a large machete and a smaller utility knife would be helpful. Looking over the assorted guns, she held a predator pistol in her hands and decided that the simple gun might also be useful; she had no firearms training, and did not trust herself to operate anything more powerful. She loaded the ship and then called up the control panel.

_What do I do? I've never piloted a ship before… I haven't gotten this far, just to be trapped again. _

The bridge was small and designed to seat two people. The panel appeared to be all touch screen… _Another computer…_ The asari reached out and ran her hand over what she assumed were the pilot's controls. A holographic menu appeared before her: Manual Control or Autopilot.

She pressed the Autopilot option and a sub menu displayed: Star Map. She pressed the Star Map option and a large display of the galaxy appeared before her. The size of the map took her by surprise, causing her to take a step back. Her eyes were drawn to a flashing arrow, indicating their present location. _Where should I go?_

Seeing a small planet in a nearby solar system, Aven touched the display of the little blue and green world. A description of the planet appeared: Class M, primitive humanoid life present, various resources, drinkable water and edible food. It would take a few weeks to make the trip, according to the display_. I suppose this is as good as any other…_

Looking over her inventory one last time, Aven went back to the cockpit and selected her destination. The shuttle came to life… "Departing in 60 seconds, all occupants must secure themselves…" Aven took her place in the pilot's chair and buckled herself in. She inhaled fully and held her breath as the autopilot made its final countdown. "Three, two, one… Firing thrusters and preparing for atmospheric exit… Standby…"

Aven could feel the ship maneuvering and readying for its departure. There was a display screen before her that she could look out of. A sudden firing of the ship's thrusters and a roar of the engines echoed through the ship. Aven could see daylight shining down on her and realized that the roof of the building had opened to allow for the shuttle to take off. She could feel the ship rising and saw the clouds quickly starting to get closer.

_This is it… no turning back now… I am free!_

The sight of smoke still rising from the remains of the monastery was still visible. From above, it all looked so small… her former life was over; it was time for a new chapter to be written.

_Goodbye… I will remember you all… I will never forget what happened here… Never…_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Warning - This chapter could contain some possible spoilers if you have not played Dragon Age or Dragon Age 2 yet. I needed to establish Merrill's history and her motivations to explain her actions and emotional state. If you haven't played either game, hopefully I've done a decent job of painting a picture of the blood mage._

_Thank you to everyone that is reading this story and for your comments, favorites, follows and PMs – they keep me motivated to write!_

_Special thanks to my wonderful friend Bebus, who continues to push me to be a better writer! Thank you for all of your ideas and edits and for naming Terras!_

Chapter 2: The Blood Mage

Hidden within the dense fog and clouds stood Sundermount, the mountain of myth and legend that loomed over the city of Kirkwall. The mountain was long feared and a central location for the tales told by travelers and ghost stories of children. Thought to harbor spirits and demons, along with various treasures, the mysterious mountain and its many caves and crevices were sought only by adventurers and those looking to hide from the civilized world. It was here that the Dalish clan of the Sabrae had come to make their home. It was not where they had wanted to settle, but with no halla and a First dabbling in blood magic, it was where the elves found themselves.

Unknown to the Dalish, Sundermount had also become the home to the Eluvian, an ornately decorated, ancient mirror that was thought to be a gateway to The Beyond. Once seen as a source of power, it had faded into the myths and stories of the Dalish until it was discovered by a pair of unsuspecting elves that summoned forth a power from ancient times and evil. Most of the Dalish viewed the Eluvian as a cursed relic, only capable of death and destruction, but one saw it as more. Merrill, First to Keeper Marethari and a powerful mage, was lured by the romantic idea that the Eluvian was a misunderstood part of her clan's history, much like herself. The young elf was a loner, misjudged by her people, and she longed for somebody… _anybody_ to understand, to accept her. When she came upon the relic, the young elf saw her chance to connect with her people and learn the ways of the old Dalish clans. Endless hours of study into the history and mythos were spent by the young mage, as she attempted to call forth the power hidden within the Eluvian.

Concerned with the welfare of her people and the future of her First, the clan's Keeper decided that Sundermount would be where they would make camp. They would wait for the return of the mythical and revered Asha'bellanar, with the hope that the wisdom of the ancient witch would help guide the Sabrae forward. Soon, three travelers arrived at the campsite of the Dalish, carrying a necklace with a powerful spirit within it. Keeper Marethari immediately recognized the group from her visions. There were two sisters: one touched by destiny, the other carrying a veil of sadness. A dwarf accompanied them, with a dancing tongue and a path of his own. The group provided the Keeper with hope for Merrill finding peace and having a future, although one away from her clan. The companions took the necklace to the top of Sundermount and with Merrill's magic, freed the spirit of Asha'bellanar and fulfilled their destiny. Merrill would leave with the three strangers and the clan would begin to thrive again.

Even in the company of friends, Merrill was unable to put aside her obsession with the Eluvian and once again sought out the Keeper to try to provide her with the tools needed to fix the relic. Not able to dissuade Merrill and seeing that her apprentice had dabbled in blood magic, Marethari could sense that in using blood magic, Merrill had called forth a powerful demon from the Fade. The Keeper of the clan sacrificed herself to try and save the soul of her young, eager and unsuspecting apprentice. In doing so, the Sabrae clan rallied and turned against the young mage, seeking to end her quest to study the Eluvian and summon unwanted demons. The mage though had powerful friends that stood by her side and with the blood of her Keeper on her hands, Merrill chose her blood magic over the Dalish. The Sabrae clan met their end swiftly in a night of more blood and death than the mountain had seen for years, the screams carrying down to the distant city of Kirkwall.

Years had passed since the slaughter, before the last of the Sabrae clan finally returned to Sundermount, sadly traversing the killing fields long since picked clean by scavengers. With nowhere else to go, Merrill now found one of the dark caves in which she had once practiced her craft and decided to make it her home. She was completely alone except for the Eluvian: an ancient, broken relic that Merrill kept as a reminder of what had once been her people. Feelings of loss and abandonment bubbled up as continual reminders to the elf of her tragic years living amongst the humans. She sat for endless hours in front of the Eluvian, trancelike, hoping for answers to questions she had never asked, finding nothing but a sad, dull reflection of the pain she had caused.

Merrill was both terrified of the world she found herself part of and desperately alone. In a short time, the elf shut herself off from the world and chose to focus on all that was lost, instead of looking to what sort of future she could be creating. The continual absence of others did nothing to help with her downward spiral. She was terrified to face the world again and had seen the Chantry persecute those that were mages. Being both an elf and a mage did not make her feel that she could open herself up and trust strangers, for fear of being discovered and then taken to the Circle or worse forced to become tranquil, or even just cut down on the spot for practicing the forbidden art of the maleficar.

_I watched my village turn against me out of fear and then had to defend myself against their attacks. They are all gone now and I am alone. I tried to understand them… I am not evil and I never wanted their blood on my hands… but I can't be something that I am not… Magic is in me, is part of me… I do not know how to live without it._

Reflecting on the past and trying to continue with her understanding of magic, Merrill attempted to learn through her clan's few remaining books and stories. The faces of her people and their looks of fear and hatred continued to haunt her thoughts. With each passing day, the isolation and memories of her clan's final words against her drove the elf to reach through the Veil and into The Beyond, a realm of demons and monstrosities that whispered to her through her use of blood magic. The only feelings of happiness were when the elf remembered her time with Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall and her companions, but with each day those became harder to call upon.

Hawke, one of thefirst humans that Merrill had ever encountered, accepted her and was not afraid of her magic; Hawke's own sister was even a mage. The Champion was a true friend and defender of the elf; even when all else seemed to turn against her, it was Hawke that was there. Without even realizing it, Merrill found herself drawn to the woman, as feelings of something beyond friendship also started to form. With the feelings of want for Hawke surfacing, a new emotion accompanied it too – jealousy.

Merrill watched as Hawke and Isabela sought the intimacy that only lovers knew and with every touch or laugh, the elf's heart broke. Isabela was the opposite of Merrill, she was a Rivaini Pirate Captain, self-assured in her beliefs and unapologetic in her actions, exotically beautiful and captivated by Hawke too. The difference though was that Hawke was equally taken with the woman and the two soon spent all their time together, leaving Merrill to the Alienage and her own self-doubts.

_No one ever understood the calling… no one until Hawke. To watch her defend me and comfort me… I thought that she would love me too, but no, I was wrong again. She fell in love with Isabela and now the two are off discovering the world together, without me. I thought that Hawke would be there, but the Champion has her own calling and I am alone._

The elf's days were spent mastering her craft and foraging for food and necessities, while her nights were spent curled up into a lonely ball, rocking herself to sleep and feeling the emptiness that surrounded her. The night brought on the worst of her fears and in sleep, whispers from across the Fade spoke to her urging her to open the Veil. Every day, Merrill felt more and more alone. Her clan had been slain because of her ambition and Hawke was no longer beside her. She missed the Champion's laugh and her confidence; the way that others were drawn to her. Merrill always felt safe and accepted whenever Hawke was near and now in her absence longed for her friend.

_When I dream, I see those that are gone. Their spirits curse me and even in death, fear me. I am no monster… I am a mage and I was born with a power that others do not understand. I would have been their protector… Why did they fear me? Why did they want to hurt me? I know that the Eluvian is our history and now it is all that I have of my people. Hawke… why did you go away? I so wish to still be at your side, to feel your company and see your inner strength in your smile… Why did you want Isabela and not me? Did you even know how I felt… how I feel?_

There was no one to hear her sobs or help end her loneliness. There was nothing left of her people, only a broken relic that served as yet another reminder of her failures. Despair became the elf's companion and the call from the Fade was more and more alluring. Blood magic came with a price and in her desperation; Merrill was starting to feel the yearning to pay it.

* * *

Each day started the same for Merrill: thoughts of Hawke and a longing to be with her again crept into her heart. The overwhelming loneliness of the elf caused the cave to feel even emptier than it was. Hawke's presence was unlike anyone that Merrill had encountered and left a gaping wound within the elf at its absence.

_I wonder what Hawke is doing now? She has probably forgotten all about me. She is off with Isabela… of course she is… Isabela is strong and mysterious… and beautiful… What was I thinking?_

Clinging tightly to a wooden carving of a halla, while looking at the Sylvanwood ring on her finger, brought up the memories of Hawke and the smile the woman had on her face when she gave each of the items to Merrill. The two trinkets were all that she had left that and her memories of the time she had spent with the Champion of Kirkwall. She desperately missed her friends and their companionship. Hawke's sarcasm, Isabela's wit, Varric's laughter; the three had brought Merrill a sense of belonging that she had never felt before. Then, they were gone and she was back in the cave wondering if their friendship had actually been real. Each day that went by, Merrill fell deeper into her self-deprecating isolation.

The Fade called to her…

_I can control myself… I've always been able to understand magic and use it to gain knowledge of the past. Magic has always been a part of me… it's my companion and it will never leave me._

Standing before the Eluvian and thinking of The Beyond, the elf removed her arulin'holm blade and ran its shape edge across her hand. She was used to the pain and somewhat comforted by the feeling. A warm rush, sticky and damp flowed from the wound, as she dropped the dagger to the ground. Merrill's concentration went past her physical realm and across the Veil, to the land of dreams and demons. A smiling face greeted her, with a soft and inviting voice. The creature was beautiful, young and free of any judgment of her actions.

"Hello… You are back." The spirit smiled at the elf, beckoning her to come closer.

Merrill did not hesitate; she was enraptured by the creature's beauty and in the creature's interest and warmth that was being aimed at her. "Oh… hello… Yes, I am back." Even in the Fade, Merrill was nervous, "You noticed me?"

"I notice everything, but you are a blood mage," the creature's tone was one of awe, not of judgment. "You are very intriguing… and powerful… and I want to know you better." As she spoke, she lightly brushed her firm, milky white breasts.

The action did not go unnoticed by Merrill. As strange feeling, an aching started between her legs. "K- Know me?"

"Yes… You want me to know you better, don't you?"

The hypnotic and sultry voice of the creature called to Merrill and she was unable to do anything but move closer. Wants and desires that the elf had only known when thinking of Hawke overtook her. She suddenly longed to feel the caress of the creature, to stroke her breasts and taste her lips. As if summoned, Merrill embraced the creature, closing her eyes in anticipation of her touch.

Seeing that the elf was under her control, the demon used its powers to attempt to enter the mage's body. An evil and eerie laughter dripped from the creature's mouth as it entered Merrill's mind.

"What are you doing?" Merrill could feel the intrusion, as her natural defenses kicked in, reflexively. The face of Hawke entered her mind and for a moment, the elf was able to see the true form of the demon in front of her. Acting out of self-preservation, Merrill quickly severed her ties to the Fade and reentered the world of the living and her cave.

"It was a lie… another deception! I'm so stupid… no one would ever want _me_!" Anger and tears overtook her and she ran out of her cave and into the daylight, hoping for something or someone to care about her suffering, the quiet of Sundermount was her only companion.

* * *

Fearing that he had lost his way in the woods, Terras, a young elf of the Alerion clan looked desperately for someplace to make camp for the night. _Have I already come this way? Oh, it all looks the same now!_

A rustling sound of someone or something approaching caused the elf to freeze in his tracks. Alarmed to see a young, female elf, dressed in green and looking rather sad heading in his direction, a sense of relief ran through Terras. "Hello!"

Hearing a male's voice, Merrill froze. She had been lost in her thoughts, berating herself for falling under the spell of a desire demon. The voice brought her back to reality and caused her to focus on the form before her. "Oh… hello. _Andaran atish'an._"

"_Andaran atish'an… _You are Dalish! Are you lost too?" Terras recognized the facial tattoos of his people, but he did not recognize the wearer of them. "I am Terras of the Alerion clan… and I am lost."

"Alerion? I am Merrill and I was born to the Alerion clan. I was given to the Sabrae clan's Keeper to train to be her First." Merrill looked over the young elf, he was handsome in an innocent way that only youth can be. His blonde hair was slightly disheveled and he was wearing neutral color clothes that would help him to blend in with the forest. "What are you doing alone here?"

"Merrill… I remember your name. I was very young when you left our clan." Terras smiled warmly at Merrill, feelings of relief swept through him at the sight of a friendly face. "My brother and I were bringing back two halla to the clan and one of them was spooked and got away from us. I ran off to try and find it, but that was hours ago and it is now getting late. I told my brother to go on without me, so here I am."

"A halla! I've not seen one of those in a very long time…" Sadness came back into Merrill's voice at the memory of the noble creatures. "My clan lost their hallas…"

"Will you take me to your Keeper?" Terras' voice was warm and friendly and he was relieved to have found another of the Dalish.

Hesitant to tell her story to her former clansman, Merrill decided to offer shelter for the evening at her cave and hoped that she would not need to answer the young elf's questions. "I am on my own… It is part of my training… but I will help you. Follow me, I have food and water in a cave close by."

"_Ma serannas_!" Terras eagerly followed Merrill to her cave, content in finding someone that would be able to help him.

* * *

When they reached the cave, Terras felt a cold chill touch his spine. Something seemed out of place, but he could not quite tell what it was that was bothering him. The cave itself was quiet and he could tell that Merrill had been living there for some time. It was well stocked with various forms of food, herbs and crafting materials. In the center of the cave and looking wildly out of place, stood an ancient, ornate mirror that was cracked and shattered. The shards of the mirror were held within a wooden carving that made the young elf think of a snake eating its own tail, twisted and evil in its intricacies. It looked almost like a shrine and Terras realized that it was the source of his discomfort.

"I will make us something to eat and you can make a bed for yourself over there." Merrill pointed to a pile of extra blankets that she had and to an area that was next to the fire pit.

Terras moved to the pile of blankets and in doing so, was also trying to take in all that was in the cave. He was relieved that the area Merrill had pointed to was away from the strange mirror. "_Ma seranna_s."

After he set up his sleeping spot, the two sat together next to the fire. Merrill had heated up vegetable stew that she kept jarred in her stockpile of various foodstuffs. It smelled fragrant and delicious and the traveler happily accepted the warm broth.

"This is very good. I did not realize how hungry I was." The stew was filling and made him think of his clan. "My mother makes a dish like this one."

"Yes… It was a favorite of Keeper Marethari…" Merrill quickly stopped her sentence and moved to fill both of their bowls instead. She had not meant to mention her Keeper and felt off balance as a result.

Terras picked up on Merrill's change in behavior. His eyes were drawn again to the odd mirror. He placed his bowl down and got up to examine the relic closer.

Seeing his movement towards the Eluvian, Merrill felt nervous and wanted to stop him, although she did not know why. "Terras… stop…"

Merrill's warning was too late. Now that he was closer to the relic, Terras could see that it looked as though someone had smashed the glass within the frame. Small, sharp shards formed around a large gaping hole that had replaced the spot where his reflection would be. It was as if the owner could not bear to see their face reflected back by the strange mirror. A glimmer at the base caught the elf's eyes, as his gaze was drawn to find a large dagger covered in dried blood. Terror ran through him as he knelt to pick up the weapon. "What is this? What are you?" His eyes were wide with wordless fear as he looked to Merrill.

"Terras… Please do not be afraid…" Merrill knew that look. She had seen it on the faces of her clan and knew the irrational fear that they had of her and the Eluvian. She moved closer to the frightened elf and outstretched her hands.

The sight of the smashed mirror and the dried blood brought back tales of the Eluvian and the disappearance of Tamlen. "Stay back! Do not come any closer." Without thinking, Terras clutched the dagger tighter and then saw the large cut on Merrill's hand and drawing his gaze up, felt sick at the map of faded scars and torn flesh. "You are a blood mage!"

The accusation hurt Merrill more than the terrified look on the young elf's face. "No… You do not understand… No one ever understands…" Tears filled the eyes of the elf and out of habit, flared her magic in the palm of her hand.

Seeing the glow of the oncoming magical _attack_, Terras stepped away from the blood mage. Terror washed over him, "Stay back… Do not come closer!" Terras raised the dagger high above his head, ready to defend himself from the abomination.

Saddened by Terras' reaction, Merrill wanted to show her visitor that he was wrong about her. She was no monster, she was kind hearted and had been trusted by the Champion of Kirkwall. Merrill's magic glowed darker and seemed to encompass her being.

"Get away from me!" Terras was frantic to escape from the blood mage and whatever demon she was summoning. Fear ran through him and he could not take his eyes off Merrill. He quickly stepped backward and in doing so, the elf's foot hit the stand of the Eluvian. Already off balance by the weight of the dagger, Terras fell backwards into the glass. As gravity brought his body into the shards of the mirror, his hand hit the frame, hard. Screams echoed throughout the cave, accompanied by the sounds of crashing glass. In hitting his hand, the dagger had slipped and aided by momentum, impaled the elf in the stomach.

Staring horrorstruck at the sight of the blood pooling around the Eluvian and the dying form of Terras, Merrill wanted to scream too but was too heartbroken to move. "Why? Why did you do that? I was not going to hurt you!" Anger erupted and she could not help but scream her confusion at the corpse.

Tasting innocent blood for the first time in centuries, the Eluvian started to glow red. The forces within knew the sacrifice as the once dormant relic accepted the blood that was being pumped across it and into the Fade. Terras' body faded into nothing and as it did, the glass of the Eluvian started to glow with power and heal itself. The Eluvian was using the lifeblood of the elf to mend its wounds and open a gateway to the forbidden realm of The Beyond.

Merrill's eyes widened as she saw the Eluvian stir from its slumber. "What is happening?" She could not take her eyes from the glowing form of the mirror, as she realized what the cost was to bring forth its power. She could feel a pulsing vibration emanating from the awakened Eluvian and faint whispers speaking to her… _More! Bring us more and we will serve you…_

"No!" She screamed at the Eluvian as tears mixed with Terras's blood. "Why?" She balled her fists and called forth the magic in her. "Everyone was right… you are evil! I've lost everything! I am a monster! No…"

Not able to stand the sight before her or to swallow the pain of her realization, Merrill fled from the cave and into the cool night air. The night was alive with the sounds of insects and nocturnal forest creatures, but Merrill was deaf to her surroundings. The pounding of her heart and her stifled sobs were all that she could hear. The distraught elf looked to the night sky. The stars were bright and the sky was cloudless, being close to the top of Sundermount made it look as if she was almost a part of the cosmos. "If only I could be up there instead of here. I am worse than an outcast of my people… I am a demon."

Still crying and calling her curses to the night sky, Merrill's eyes are drawn to a blazing, orange light streaking across the night sky. It looked as though a giant was using a fiery sword to cut a swath in the sky itself. The fire was drawing closer to her and she could see that it would not be long until it impacted the forest below her. "Did I do this? Is this the Eluvian opening to swallow me?"

Tree tops burst into flames as the object descended and then a sudden burst, as warm air knocked the elf back a step. The air smelled of burning wood and Merrill was reminded instinctively of campfires. Without thinking, Merrill took off running as fast as she could to see what the cause of the disturbance could be.

The trail was easy to follow, as a singed and smoldering path was left by the object. It was farther than she had thought and it did not take long until exhaustion had started to settle into her muscles. The taxation of Terras's death, her spent emotions and now the burning in her muscles and lungs were almost too much for Merrill, but she forced herself to continue. She needed to know if this was the Eluvian.

After two hours of trekking through the woods, she finally found what she was looking for: a large metallic object, dented and shredded, blackened with flames, partially sunken in the loamy earth before her. It looked like a ship, but one that had been sailing in the air and not the water. Merrill's curiosity was too much for her and the horrors of earlier faded out of her mind. _What is this? I have never seen anything like this before… It does not look alive… Is this some kind of craft?_

Cautiously, Merrill moved closer. The flames had been extinguished when the craft hit the wet ground, but Merrill was still unsure about what she was seeing. She circled the wreckage and was almost relieved when she was able to recognize what looked like a door. Since the craft had been damaged and she could not find an easy way to enter, Merrill focused her magic on the hatch and forced it off and away from the ship.

"Is anyone there?" Merrill called into the ship but could not hear a reply. Various lights were flashing, seeming to signal its distress and the air was thick with a burning smoke she had never smelled before. Undaunted, Merrill stepped inside. The contents of the vessel were tossed and spewed across it, but she did not see anything that looked living. She made her way deeper into the wreckage and there it was, the occupant of the craft that Merrill had been searching for.

The alien looked injured, but even in its current state, was the most serene and beautiful thing Merrill had ever seen. Its blue skin looked like it would be more at home swimming in the sea than walking on the land. Moving closer, Merrill looked to see if she could see any signs of life and then saw the majestic creature's face. It had no ears, tentacle like appendages for hair, but the face was enchanting and distinctly feminine. She had delicate tattoos, not unlike Merrill's that were a darker shade of blue than her skin tone.

Merrill's breath caught in her throat as she saw the woman breathing. _She is still alive! I have to help her!_ She was strapped into a chair and if not for the restraints, would have been forced through the large view screen. Merrill freed the woman in a matter of minutes and then gently laid her on the floor of the cockpit. "My name is Merrill and I am going to help you."


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Hope that you are enjoying the story! Special thanks to Bebus for all your help and thank you for reading!_

Chapter 3: Healing

It took Merrill the better part of the night to transport the wounded alien to her cave. After she had carefully moved the woman out of the ship and tried to stabilize her wounds with various healing spells, the elf went to work on finding materials to make something that could be used to carry the unconscious form back to her cave without causing more harm. Merrill could feel a light breeze on her cheek and a chill in the night air. She lit a fire in the cover of the craft to keep the woman warm and to ward off any interested predators and then went to work salvaging what she could from the alien craft.

After an hour of sifting through the strange items that were strewn about the interior of the ship, the elf was able to construct a makeshift gurney. The rummaging process was overwhelming and she had never seen so many alien looking contraptions before. The curious elf wanted to take time and examine all of the new and wondrous things, but she knew that her patient was waiting and that the trip back to the cave was not going to be easy. She glanced at the pieced together gurney and smiled her work. Walking back into the night air, the elf was comforted by the cool air and freshness of the wilds. The air in the ship was a bit too warm and acidic smelling for her comfort and the physical activity made her start to sweat. She approached the woman lying next to the fire and again drank in her unusual beauty; she looked strangely peaceful and very vulnerable. "Nothing will hurt you I-" she reached out, as if to caress the strange blue skin, before catching herself. Merrill straightened, reassuring herself as much as her charge, "I promise I will keep you safe."

Between the spells, the emotions of the evening and all of the exercise, Merrill's energy was spent but her work was not yet done. Her muscles burned in a way that reminded her of her time spent fighting alongside Hawke, but she felt alive and needed two feelings that had been a distant memory for her. She had been able to focus on the needs of someone else for once and felt an overwhelming sense of responsibility for the woman's care. There was something about the helplessness and beauty that made it impossible for Merrill to not want to care for the creature. With a new found determination, Merrill concocted a strength potion from the pouch of herbs she kept with her and then consumed the bitter liquid. Almost immediately her exhaustion vanished and her muscles flooded with renewed power, and Merrill was finally ready to move the beautiful creature back to her cave to fully care for her.

When she finally returned home, the smell of death permeated the air of the cave and served as a reminder of the darkness that had soiled her soul. It was a vile smell that was stifling and putrid; it was the smell of something sinister and evil. The body of Terras was gone, as was all of his blood that had been spilled during the accident, but the arulin'holm blade was still lying on the floor at the base of the Eluvian. The mirror was now whole, but was no longer glowing or calling to her. The sight of the relic now brought a sickening feeling to the elf as she understood the cost of activating it. _I need to cleanse the cave and purge all of the evil here before she wakes up._

With great care, Merrill secured her patient in the bedding that Terras had made next to the fire and away from the Eluvian. Merrill's spells were wearing off and she knew that her charge needed attention if she was to regain consciousness. The blue woman looked like she had hit her head on something, probably during the crash landing, as a deep gash above her eye was oozing purple-bluish blood and a large bruise was forming around it. There was also a significant, penetrating wound on the left side of the woman's upper torso that was still bleeding and looked painful. The blood worried Merrill; she looked nervously at the Eluvian with an almost hateful glare. "You stay away from her!"

Getting right to work, Merrill put a large kettle of water on the cooking fire to boil so that she could clean and properly dress the wounds of the alien. The injury on her side was the most serious and needed to be tended to first. Merrill quickly found her strongest healing solution; one made mostly of elfroot and a very small amount of lyrium to bolster the natural healing power of the herbs and carefully administered it to the mysterious alien. A sudden light emanated from the woman when the potion touched her skin. Merrill gasped at the sight of the glowing beauty before her. Not able to stop herself from touching the creature, the elf could feel a slight vibration as warmness ran across the alien's skin and extended onto Merrill as well. Feelings that Merrill could not find words for flowed through her and she could not pull away from the glowing form in front of her. _Beauty… You are the living form of splendor…_

As the potion set into the wound, the glowing subsided, but the emotions within Merrill remained. She refocused on the wound and reached into the pot of boiling water to remove the sterilized compresses she had prepared. They were still warm when she pressed them onto the woman's injuries. Merrill applied pressure and held the compress in place to help stop the bleeding and then dressed the wound in clean bandages. "Well, hopefully that will do for now. I guess I do not need to worry about you moving around too much," the elf laughed nervously at how naive she sounded. She could not get the picture of the woman's luminosity or the feeling of the glow running across her skin from her mind.

Needing to check for other signs of injury, Merrill started to gently undress and clean her patient's body. The woman was wearing a simple ivory dress, covered in a sleek light blue robe made of a material that was both very strong and silky to the touch. It was now torn and caked with blood, but Merrill imagined how elegant the woman must have looked before sustaining all of her injuries. The robe against her blue skin gave her a refinement and softness that was so contrary to the fashion seen in Kirkwall. As she removed her garments, Merrill gently washed the textured skin and lightly touched the creature to assess for internal damage. She found many bruises and abrasions, but nothing that looked life threatening. When she was sure that the wounds were tended to, Merrill wrapped her charge in a light sheet that would keep her warm and give her privacy until her clothes could be mended and cleaned.

Now that her guest was secure, Merrill knew that she still had work to do in the cave. A quick inventory of her medical herbs and potions was in order to make sure that she would be prepared for when the woman awoke. Her attention then went to the Eluvian and a wave of hatred for the relic swelled within the elf. Never before had she harbored such feelings for the mirror: even after the destruction of her clan, she still did not see it as innately _evil_. Knowing that it required the blood and sacrifice of innocence, Merrill could think of no other word to describe it than _maleficar_. She no longer wanted to look at it, but part of her could not bring herself to destroy it. Instead she decided to cover the Eluvian with one of her sheets. With the reflection from the Eluvian covered, Merrill returned to her task of cleansing the cave of the evil that still lingered with its walls. _If she wakes up, I do not want her to see me as a monster… I do not want her to know…_

It had been over a day since the elf had rested, but she wanted to clean the clothes of her guest. The smell lingering in the cave of the previous night's atrocities also needed to be purged. She decided that burning some fragrant herbs would both cleanse the air and help with the woman's healing. Merrill went back to her supply of dried herbs and flowers and decided on a mix of lavender, sweet grass and blood lotus to burn and drive the deeds of the Eluvian away. Hunger had also set in, so the elf brewed some fresh tea and heated up some stew. "Oh, I do hope that you like my stew…" Merrill sat beside the exotic woman and breathed in the incense in the air. A smile formed on her lips as took in the sight before her. The alien's presence seemed to enhance all of the elf's senses: her food tasted sweeter, the air smelled refreshed and fragrant, she could hear the calling of the animals in the forest, and her vision was filled with the radiance of her patient, the only sense left unfulfilled was touch and Merrill yearned to complete it with the woman's skin rubbing up against her own. When she had been treating the woman's wounds - and the treatment left no doubt that it was a woman - she had been too busy to appreciate the form, but as the yearning bubbled through her, she remembered just how wonderful the body beneath the sheets was: slender and beautifully curved in all of the right places.

_She is wondrous_… Merrill's hands were drawn to dark blue of her facial tattoos. Her hands instinctively started to gently trace them as she tried to mentally take in every detail of the woman. Merrill had never felt skin like hers before; it was both textured and soft and the blue color radiated serenity. Her guest's heartbeat seemed strong and her breathing had a regular rhythm to it. A protective instinct coursed through the elf as she watched the rise and fall of her patient's chest. Without thinking, Merrill started to hum a long forgotten Dalish tune that her mother had once sung to her when she was small. The words were gone, but the melody had endured. For the first time in months, Merrill felt something other than loneliness or guilt: she felt nurturing and affection whenever she looked at the sleeping form next to her.

Speaking in hushed tones, Merrill curled next to the woman and whispered softly, "You will be alright… I am here for you and will not let anything happen to you… rest…" The exhaustion of the past few days was finally too much, Merrill's eyes started to droop and her body screamed for sleep. She rested her head on a pile of blanket that she had brought over with her and feeling secure and fulfilled, the elf was finally able to fall asleep.

* * *

Aven awoke with a start. The memory of the warning lights flashing and seeing the planet getting larger on the view screen, as it pulled her ship into the atmosphere, made her gasp. _What happened? How did I live through that?_ She reflexively brought her hands up to her chest and her eyes widened with the realization that she was still alive. She fought through the haze of her memory as she tried to remember the exact events that had brought her here: _The ship took off from Xalantia… I was escaping from the horror of the massacre at the monastery… There was a planet that I had told the ship to take me to… The ship entered and asteroid field and was hit… There were flames and damage… The warning lights flashed and an alarm started to sound… I saw the planet approaching… There was a sharp pain in my side… Pain… Darkness._

A rush of fear went through her, as she slowly started to regain her senses. _I am not in my ship... Where am I? How long have I been out? _She knew that she had been moved from her ship and that her surroundings were not familiar. The memory of the monsters that had taken all of her friends from the monastery and transformed them into hideous creatures raced through her mind. She closed her eyes, almost afraid to look around and see their twisted, perverted faces staring back or worse, hearing their screams. She held her breath, waiting to hear the wailing sound of her sisters, but wherever she was, held only quiet. Honing her hearing and listening for the slightest noise, she picked up on the rhythmic breathing of someone or something next to her. A cold rush of fear ran over her and Aven slowly opened her eyes to see what was making the sound.

Afraid to alert her possible captor that she was awake, she tried to hold still and let her eyes adjust to the low light levels of wherever she was. She could feel the warmth of a fire burning next to her and she could see the shape of a humanoid form close by. Alien, but not unpleasant smells were wafting through the air around her. She tested her arms and legs and found that they were not bound. Aven ran her hands across her body and in doing so, met with another terror: she not wearing any clothes. _What have they done to me?_

Panic started to overtake her at the thought of being stripped and somehow violated by an alien. _What if these are the same monsters that invaded my home or something worse? What if I crash landed and am going to change into one of those… things or be used for some other evil purpose?_ Aven felt like crying or fighting or running away, but fear seemed to immobilize her. Tears started to well up in her eyes, but she was too afraid to let herself give in to them.

_Quiet your mind… Think… You are not a child… Find out where you are._ The asari tried to reign in her thoughts and in doing so was able to focus on her surroundings. She inhaled deeply and held her breath, concentrating on what to do next. As the adrenaline started to wear off, she realized that her body was very sore, especially her head and side. She slowly moved her hand to where the pain was in her torso and could feel a bandage over her wound. _I am hurt, but someone took care of me._ Running her hands over her form, Aven inspected the rest of her body and its condition as best as she could. To her surprise and relief, she found that it had been cleaned, her wounds appeared to be tended and she was tucked into soft bedding. _These are not the actions of those things… or a monster._

The crash had taken its toll on the asari, as had being in one position for too long. Aven could feel the pain from the wound in her side, plus the ache in her muscles from all that they had been put through. The worst though, was the headache which made her vision pulse and a wave of nausea run through her. Aven knew that she needed to stretch and decided that she would chance a look around from a sitting position. She started by moving her feet lightly and then her arms. She kept her eyes trained on the form that was too close for her to feel comfortable, but it was not moving. Aven then rolled her shoulders and neck, trying to remove some of the stiffness in them. Within a few minutes, the asari had been able to pull herself into a sitting position, with her legs stretched out and her back supported by the fire pit.

_I think I'm in some sort of cave._ The flicker from the dying fire was casting odd shapes against the walls, but from her new position, Aven could see that there were rock formations surrounding her. She was housed in something that nature had created, not in the artificial constructs of asari or others. The cave seemed well lived in and the asari took notice of a large shelf that was slightly leaning against a wall for support, as it was stocked with all sorts of random shaped jars, dried flowers and herbs. Aven desperately tried to find clues as to who the inhabitants might be and what their intentions would be towards her. Not seeing anything that looked threatening or dangerous, Aven was filled with a sense of relief, for it looked like the sleeping creature next to her was by herself and that no one else was in the cave.

_Now is my chance… if I strike, I can probably get free._ The thought made her flex her arms and ball her fists in anticipation for a conflict. She reached inside of herself and focused her energy until her body was glowing in a biotic field. She narrowed her eyes, thinking about discharging her full force on the form before her. Before she could release the singularity though, a sharp and cutting pain ran through her torso. The suddenness and the intensity of the agony ripping through her, made her biotics fail. The blue glow of her powers faded as quickly as they had been summoned and her hand went instinctively to her side and the source of the anguish. Tears came back into her eyes and more than anything, Aven wanted to scream out and have some form of release. The asari took in a deep breath and held it, hoping that the pain might stop if she ceased all movement. The damage had been done and she could feel her wound starting to rip open. A sticky, wetness on her hand from the injury, told her that she was bleeding again. _Stupid… I am hurt… What am I going to do? Help me… please!_

The pain was quickly becoming more than she could bear and she could feel the blood flowing freely from her wound. Her vision started to blur and a sickening feeling welled in her stomach. _I cannot do this alone… I need help!_ The creature that was next to her still had not moved, but Aven knew that she needed its help if she wanted to live. With the few remaining seconds of consciousness that she had left, she let out a curdling scream that echoed throughout the cave. Aven slowly slumped over as her cry left her lungs and her consciousness faded.

* * *

_Am I dreaming? Did someone just scream?_ Merrill woke up and quickly scanned her cave. The covered Eluvian immediately came into her view and anger, coupled with fear welled up within. She jumped to her feet on full alert, ready to face whatever had made the noise. Not seeing an immediate threat, she went to her patient. _She's moved… oh no! The scream came from her!_

Blood was pooling around the wounded creature and Merrill realized fully what had happened. Without thought, she went to work on the gaping wound. As gently as she could, Merrill lowered the woman back on the makeshift bed and then summoned a healing spell to help stop the bleeding. She pulled off the blood soaked sheet and bandages and started preparing fresh, sterilized ones to take their place. Her stockpile of supplies was in order and it only took the elf minutes to find the right combinations of herbs and materials to craft a strong healing potion to apply to the wound. A trace amount of lyrium was again one of the ingredients and when Merrill started to spread the potion over the wound, the strange blue glow appeared again. Merrill was ready this time and held the compress in place, while the warming effect took hold of both of them. "You are going to be okay… but you need to be still and rest."

The blood was starting to clot and the potion also seemed to be working. Merrill changed out the dressing again and skillfully applied a fresh one to the woman. She placed the new bandages firmly around her patient's torso, but made sure that it wasn't so tight that it would impede her breathing. Now all she had to do was wait to see if the bleeding would stop.

Merrill poured a cup of hot tea and then took hold of one of the woman's hands. The blue hand was quite a bit larger than Merrill's and the woman's fingers looked delicate and long. She was not wearing any jewelry, nor did she need to in order to bring out her beauty. The alien form felt warm in Merrill's embrace as the elf gently caressed the fingers of her patient. She had light calluses and Merrill could tell that she used her hands in her daily work, but nothing that was too harsh. Merrill could feel the roughness of her own skin against the smoothness of the woman's and wondered if the stranger would recoil from the touch. Without warning, the blue fingers curled around Merrill's and lightly squeezed them.

Shocked by the action, Merrill looked up and into the green eyes of the alien woman. They were emerald, with flecks of hazel and held an intelligence that Merrill was immediately drawn to. The elf did not release the hand that was now holding hers as she spoke to her patient in a warm, friendly tone, "Hello, my name is Merrill. Please do not be afraid… I won't harm you." Merrill's eyes widened, as a smile formed on her lips. The woman did not seem to be afraid of her and was not pulling away. "I found you in some sort of metallic boat… you were hurt and I needed to take care of you. I brought you to my cave… I guess it's my home, actually."

Aven had started to regain consciousness and in doing so, realized that she was once again lying down on the soft bedding and had been tended to. She could hear a melodic sound coming from someone or something next to her, but she could not understand what was being said. Her body was still in agony and remembering what had happened previously, she was afraid to reopen her wounds yet again. She felt the soft touch of the other's hand and with what little strength she had, wrapped her own fingers around the smaller one that had cared for her. She opened her eyes slowly and was relieved to find an interesting little creature sitting next to her.

The creature was so strange looking to the asari, as she had never seen any other humanoid form of life up-close besides the monsters that invaded her home and killed her sisters. _It is white, not blue… I wonder if it is well? How curious this creature is… I have never seen such a skin tone before._ _This alien is not like those things that killed my sisters._ Aven had to restrain herself from wanting to run her hands over the strange coat of the creature. It had strange black fur on the top of its head, pointed things on either side of her face and was more the size of an adolescent than a full grown asari. Aven's gaze was drawn back to the creature's face and Aven thought immediately that _it_ must be a _she_ by her soft features. She had kindness in her light green eyes and markings on her face that reminded Aven of her own. The noises coming from her mouth sounded like singing, but Aven could not understand the words. She was still in a lot of pain and without a translator knew that she would not be able to communicate much to the woman next her, so she chose to save her strength.

Looking around, Aven saw a cup of liquid sitting next to the exotic creature and was reminded that she had not had any type of nourishment in a very long time. She did not want to let go of the creature's hand, so carefully she lifted the one cradling her bandaged side and pointed to the cup, hoping that the creature would understand her gesture and offer her something to drink and possibly eat.

Merrill saw the movement that woman was making and followed the direction of where she was pointing. "You are thirsty?" Merrill picked up her glass containing her now lukewarm tea and offered it to the woman.

Aven accepted the drink and without thought, consumed the contents and then handed back the cup to the strange little creature.

"Oh good… you like the tea!" Merrill's smile widened and she refilled the cup and handed it back to the woman. She could feel the eyes of the alien watching her, taking in everything that she did. Merrill laughed nervously and continued on with her banter, "Are you hungry too? Of course you are… Merrill you're so silly. You haven't eaten anything in a long time." Merrill looked to her jarred food and pointed. The woman followed her direction and nodded. Reluctantly, Merrill let go of the woman's hand, rose from her seated position and headed over to the stockpile of jars. "I wonder what you like? Hmm… maybe some dried fruit and some stew? Yes… that sounds nice." Merrill picked over some of the containers until she found what she was looking for. On her way back to her guest, Merrill picked up a pot, some bowels and utensil. She then went to work heating up the meal, all the time talking to the woman and laughing nervously as she did so. Within a few minutes, Merrill had been able to throw together a light meal and handed a warm bowl of stew to the beauty before her.

Aven accepted the bowl and watched as the creature took sips of the broth from her own spoon. The aroma of the food made her mouth water and her stomach growl and she decided that she couldn't wait any longer to eat. The little creature's huge eyes were watching her closely. Aven took a small sip and was pleased at the flavors that touched her tongue. The stew was unlike anything that she had tasted, but the warming feeling traveling down to her stomach instantly made her feel stronger. It did not take Aven any time to complete the meal. "Thank you, little one. I am in your debt."

Merrill was pleased to see the woman wolf down her stew. She didn't realize it, but she had been holding her breath in anticipation of the alien's response to her stew. A friendly smile seemed to be permanently on Merrill's face every time she looked at her guest. Then the elf heard her speak. The language was not one that Merrill had heard before and reminded her of something that would be sung by birds in the early morning. "I don't know what you're saying… but I'm glad you like the stew. You sound like a beautiful blue bird that I might find singing to me in the forest." Merrill thought of how exotic the woman was and that her voice was rhythmical and as enchanting as the rest of her. "_Luin_, that is what I'm going to call you, if you don't mind… at least until you can tell me your name. It is the Dalish word for blue and has its own musical tone, like you."

The two women sat quietly together being warmed by the fire. Each was in their own state of healing: Aven from her crash and what she lived through at the monastery; Merrill from the horrors of the Eluvian and the death of Terras. Neither felt the need to speak, but both were content to be with another and not be judged or threatened. They both seemed to recognize a kindred spirit within the other and could recognize the stress and sadness in their expressions. When sleep came, both relaxed and fell into a deep and restful state: no demons called to Merrill and no screams were heard by Aven.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Thank you for reading and I hope that you enjoy! Special thanks to Bebus for the edits and support! Warning, this is for a mature audience and contains some explicit scenes._

_If you are enjoying this story, then you might want to check out a new story that I am co-writing with Bebus. Our pen name is Vectus and __9147327 Unnatural Selection__ is the link._

Chapter 4: Acting On Instinct

Seeing the light streaming into the cave and feeling the cold morning air lightly blowing on her, Aven woke up early. Tenderly stretching out, she realized that her body was still very tender and the wound in her torso was oozing and sore. She looked over at the sleeping form of the alien creature that had been caring for her and a warm sensation rushed over her. Aven longed to be able to speak with the girl, but there was something more too. She found that her smile and nervous laughter were charming and in her presence, Aven felt safe. _What is your name and what are you? Where am I and have you ever seen anyone like me before?_

The elf was snoring lightly and Aven liked the rhythmic noise that she was making, it was soothing and reminded her that she was not alone. The girl's head was close to Aven; close enough that the asari could touch the strange, black fur that took up the top of her head. The texture was soft and silky. As she let the fine strands run through her fingers, Aven gently looked to see if it was attached to the scalp. A smile came to her lips as she quickly discovered that the fur was part of the little creature. The sensation of her hand running through the strands made Aven think of the feel of water across her skin. "You are an interesting little thing," Aven whispered.

Hearing the melodic sound of her companion, Merrill stirred. The feeling of fingers running through her hair made the elf slightly coo quietly before she realized it probably wasn't appropriate. Merrill's eyes went immediately to woman that was curled up in the bedding next to her and was delighted to find a smile on the beautiful blue face directed right at her. "Good morning Luin. Are you feeling better?" Knowing that she would not actually get an answer, Merrill returned the smile, stretched and then stood. She looked to the fire that was now embers and went to get fresh logs to start making breakfast.

Feeling the eyes of her patient follow her every move, Merrill hurried to assemble everything that she needed so that she could be at her side again. The woman's color had deepened and Merrill took that as a good sign that she was healing. Merrill got busy making breakfast, heating some tea and some grains and cutting some fruit and brought the fruit to her companion to tide them both over until the rest had cooked. The wound was still seeping and Merrill knew that it needed to be tended to. She looked into the eyes of the exotic woman and then pointed at the injury and then to the potion and bandages she was holding. The woman nodded and then held her breath, as if bracing herself for the expected pain that would result.

Aven saw the concern in the girl's eyes and knew that her wound was a problem, plus she could feel the wetness around the bandages and realized that it was much deeper and more serious than she had thought. The injury brought the asari a deep ripping pain with even the slightest movement and she was trying to mentally prepare for when the girl touched it and changed out the bandages; she knew that it would hurt a lot. She squinted her eyes and held her breath, anticipation built as the little creature stretched her hand out to tend to her.

Merrill saw her patient flinch, as if preparing for the pain that was coming. Hoping to comfort the woman, Merrill gently took her hand in hers. "Luin, I have to change the dressing, but I will be as quick and gentle as I can." She tried to be as reassuring as possible and felt the woman squeeze her hand with acceptance. Merrill gently touched the fetid bandage and called on a healing spell to help calm her patient and in doing so; a faint white light encircled her body and slowly dissipated as the spell took action.

Surprised by the illumination, Aven thought of her own biotics and their effects on her body_. I wonder if she is like me? Does she have biotic abilities too? If only I could ask her._ Aven felt the calming relief from the potion and allowed herself to exhale. The wound looked deep and the used bandages were seeped in a dark blue shade of blood. Her caretaker was looking intently at the injury and seemed to be talking again. _If only I could know what you are saying! _Aven was both scared and angry that she had so little control over her body and could not communicate with the girl. _Why did my parents refuse to let me have a translator? Did they think I was going to be at that monastery for my entire life and would never need to speak to anyone other than another Ardat-Yakshi? Damn them!_

Keeping her expression even and trying not to react to the deep cut in the woman's torso, Merrill went to work cleaning the excess blood and pus from the wound. The elf recognized that it was starting to get infected and that she would need to take aggressive action to keep her patient from becoming septic. "Luin, I'm going to need to leave you after breakfast and get more supplies. I won't be gone long, I promise."

Hearing the squeal of the tea kettle, Merrill picked up the used bandages and threw them aside, wanting to get them away from their living space. In doing so, the bloody pile landed next to the Eluvian, which sensed the alien blood and started to emit a slight red glow from under the sheet; neither Aven nor Merrill noticed.

* * *

When they had finished eating, Merrill began cleaning their living space. When the dishes were put away and the waste disposed of, she went to work inventorying all of her goods, with the hopes of being able to secure what she needed from the forest. She knew the area well and had foraged all of her life; it was almost second nature to being Dalish. As she went through the cave, she hummed a Dalish tune to keep her occupied; the time alone had made her hate the quiet of the cave, and she had talked to herself for as long as she could remember. While Hawke and Isabela had gently teased her about it, Merrill felt like it helped relax her patient, even if the strange blue woman could not understand a word she said. "Oh… I need to burn these things." Merrill looked at the pile of used bandages and noticed the slight red glow from under the sheet, "No! I should burn you too! She is not yours and you will _never_ have her!"

As Aven watched the girl work, she wished that she could join her. Sitting and not being able to move without fear of opening her wound was maddening. Worst yet was not being able to understand or talk to her caretaker. With nothing to do, Aven's mind filled with questions, which she knew would go unanswered. Every time the girl approached, Aven could feel her warmth and an inner power within her. The feeling triggered something deep and primal within the asari, something that she had not felt in decades: a hunger to know the girl's mind, to touch it… to meld with it… to feel what the other was harboring within her. The realization horrified and excited the Ardat-Yakshi equally.

In the back of the cave, the Eluvian continued to emit its reddish glow. It was a soft, almost unnoticeable glow that had been hidden from view by the sheet. The Eluvian and those in the Beyond had tasted the blood of the Ardat-Yakshi and wanted more. The power that the blood contained was unlike anything that the demons had ever known. It was the blood of a powerful creature that still had its innocence; it was the sweet nectar that could empower those in the Beyond. The Eluvian hummed and tried to reach the mind of the alien that lay only feet away.

* * *

A little over a week passed, as Merrill did her best the help her patient continue to heal and Aven tried to adapt to her new home. The woman's wound was slowly mending, but still needed to be tended to multiple times a day. Merrill used various spells and potions, but the ones that worked the best held traces of lyrium in them. Whenever the woman's body was exposed to lyrium, it emitted a charge that engulfed her beautiful blue form and sent a ripple of warmth across her skin. Merrill loved the feeling and response that it would cause within the woman. Merrill could sense the woman's body strengthen with the application of the potion and knew that soon after, she would smile and draw her closer. The feeling of her body, its heat and softness right next to Merrill made something within the elf come alive. Intense dreams of the exotic blue woman greeted Merrill every night and each night, they got more intense and exploitive.

They had created a routine together and every day, they spent more of their time quietly enjoying the others company. It was as if they could both sense the solitary lives that they had endured, their body language and their expression wore the sadness of their pasts and the wanting of their futures. The asari drew her strength from the elf and the elf found her place at the asari's side. Both yearned to be able to communicate in a more direct way, but neither seemed to be able to understand the verbal language of the other.

For Aven, her injury and the lack of a translator were sources of frustration. The wound greatly limited her activities and kept her close to the cave. She longed to stay with the little creature that she found so fascinating. Aven watched the way that her caretaker could intuitively read the land and find exactly what she was looking for; it made Aven think of her studies at the monastery and her love of the terrain of her home. She wanted to learn from the girl and was slowly starting to become acquainted with all the new herbs, flowers, animals, and elements, but without being able to talk to the girl, it was a slow process. _You are such an enigma and I have never been so content to be with another before._

Nights for Aven were full of intensities that she had never experienced; it was as if something was trying to talk to her and did so in her dreams. She could hear something within calling on her to use her abilities, to meld. She could taste it, feel it and indulged her yearnings in her dreams. When she awoke, the asari had to stop herself from reaching out to touch the girl's mind. There was something alluring about the girl that made Aven long to be with her and want more from her. Aven could see the intensity in the girl's eyes and could feel a veiled power within her. Whenever the potion was used to heal her wound and her biotics were activated, Aven could also see the flicker of some type of energy within the girl. "You have biotics and obviously have had training, if not, I would be dead. Why are you alone? You are so mysterious and I wish that I could know your story and tell you mine. Although if you knew what I am, would you still accept me?"

The air was getting colder and the daylight was getting shorter; the seasons were starting to change. For the elf and the asari, time did not seem to matter. They continued on together, with Aven still healing and Merrill showing her companion everything that she could about the forest and how to survive. Aven was fast to learn and always seemed eager to take in more. Merrill could sense the blessing of magic within her new friend and tried to show her how to make spells and imbue potions. They continued to grow closer, with their personal space getting smaller and smaller between them. Both dreamed of the other and each desperately wanted to be able to talk to the other.

* * *

Days of foraging together, making the potions necessary for the asari to heal and nights spent quietly next to the fire were becoming a welcomed way of life for the women. Time was passing and the two were forming an unspoken relationship together, as the autumn started to take hold of the mountain.

"See that yellow bloom? The one with red tips on it… that is the one we are after." Pointing out a special flower that only bloomed in the fall and was found growing in the rocky outcrops of the mountain; Merrill had taken her gaze away from her companion and was focusing on the flower when she heard a bone chilling scream.

"Help me!" Aven had been watching the girl and was not paying particular attention to her surroundings when she caught her foot in one of the loose rocks and slipped. The fall was not that serious, but the impact and twisting caused Aven's wound to rip open. The asari felt a sharp, stabbing pain and instantly her clothes began to dampen with blood. "Not again… no!"

"Luin!" Merrill called to her companion and raced to be next to her. "Shh… let me see." She knelt down next the fallen form of her friend and placed her hand on the woman's back.

The asari looked up at the elf, eyes wide and full of tears, lightly panting and trying desperately to hold on to consciousness. She could not form words, only short whimpers of pain.

Merrill saw the blood stain on her clothes and called up a strong healing spell. Nothing was helping and both were becoming desperate. "I need to stop the bleeding! Oh… what am I going to do? Please, be okay!" Merrill's hands were covered in the rich blue blood of the asari. Fear and panic coursed through the elf when she saw the amount of blood that her friend had lost. "I have to do something… anything!" Tears started to form in Merrill's eyes, as she turned to the only option that would work: blood magic.

Since Merrill already had fresh blood on her, she closed her eyes and focused on a healing power from the Beyond. A faint light engulfed the elf and she directed the magic directly at the wound. The alien's blood was powerful and a rush of energy filled the mage and empowered her with gifts that she had not known before. The Beyond answered with a flash of light that closed the wound with searing force. Merrill held her breath as the power faded, but was left with a euphoria that was indescribable and almost addicting.

Aven screamed in excoriating pain, as a burning sensation washed through her. She was sure that if she looked, her body would be on fire and that she would soon be consumed by the flames that the girl had set upon her. Just when she thought that she would die, the pain left her. The burning was gone, as was the light that had been surrounding the girl. Afraid to breathe, she looked at the creature through tearing eyes of both fear and relief. "What have you done to me?" Her hand went to her wound that was now healed, but still tender.

Merrill knew the expression that the woman was wearing. She had seen it often, the face of fear and misunderstanding. Instinctively, Merrill felt the happiness of the last month fade. Hurt was replacing the feelings that she had only moments prior and she slumped dejectedly next to the woman, tears now threatening to spill over her eyes too. She brought her hands up to her eyes and turned away from the woman, "Not you too… I'm so sorry, but I couldn't stop the bleeding… I didn't know what else to do." Her words came out in sobs and defeat.

Looking at the girl, Aven saw her reaction and had witnessed the reaction to herself and being an Ardat-Yakshi. She knew the feeling of rejection and accusation and instantly felt guilty for her reaction to the biotic display. Trying to sit up, Aven reached for the girl that had shown her nothing but trust and care and placed her hand on her shoulder. "I wish that you could understand me… I am sorry… Please know that I understand." Aven pulled her companion towards her, wanting to look in her eyes and show her that she was okay.

"What?" Surprised by the touch, Merrill faced the woman but could not bring herself to look in her eyes, for fear of what she would see there. "I'm sorry, Luin... Don't hate me."

The asari moved her hand from her shoulder to her face and directed the girl to look at her. When their eyes met, a wave of emotion ran through Aven, one of want and yearning. She slowly stretched her form and lightly guided the face of the girl into her. Her eyes closed, as her lips pressed into those of her companion and she held her breath as the kiss lingered. A slight twinge of pain reminded the asari of her recent injury and caused her to gasp, ending the kiss.

Euphoria overtook the elf. The kiss was unexpected, but Merrill had dreamt about it for weeks. The taste of Luin was sweet and alien; Merrill wanted more. Her whole body tingled with the excitement of the affection from the woman. When the kiss ended, her head was spinning as feelings coursed through her. She smiled at her companion and offered her hand to try and help her to her feet.

* * *

With the quest for the autumn flowers forgotten and instead replaced with yearning, the women hastily returned to the cave, hand in hand. Desire and want seeped out of both of them. Strong pheromones of sexual anticipation filled the cave, as Aven found Merrill's lips. Lust for more of the girl swelled inside of Aven as she felt the probing tongue of her soon to be lover exploring her mouth, and caused a strange feeling and wetness between her legs.

With her pulse racing, Merrill could barely feel her body. The need to be naked before the exotic woman and to feel the textured skin against her own was the only thought in her mind. Acting on her wants, Merrill started to slide out of the clothes that were now serving as a hindrance to her goal.

Responding to the actions of the girl, Aven also started to pull off her clothes. Neither wanted to break contact with their lips, as they groped at each other hoping to gain more exposure to skin; the pile of clothes started to mount at their feet.

Merrill, in her desperation wanted nothing more than to be one with the exotic woman. She could feel her body respond to the woman's touches. Her breasts throbbed, wanting to be touched and suckled by the blue lips. Her slit became wet and ached to feel the pressure from the woman's hand spreading her open, finding her bundle of nerves. Grinding into the blue, muscular leg of her lover, Merrill was desperate for some sort of purchase and release. Her body longed for the touch of the woman and the union that would result. _Is this real? Can she really want me too? Please don't stop!_ Waves of want flooded the elf, as she willingly gave herself over to the asari and her ministrations. "I am yours Luin."

Sensing the girl's openness and wanting her equally, Aven reached for the breast in front of her. Taking hold of the supple nipple between her thumb and forefinger, the asari smiled as she was instantly rewarded with a cooing sound from the girl. Moving her tongue from her lover's lips, the asari started to make its way down her companion's body: her neck, her clavicle and finally her breast and the erect nipple. Aven's attuned senses could smell the release of pheromones, signaling the girl's readiness for Aven to penetrate her. The realization sent waves of want and desire through the asari and caused her to continue her exploration of her lover with her tongue. Wanting to satisfy the girl, Aven gently pushed her lover back down to their bedding. With the signal to lie down, the girl compliantly got on her back and opened up her legs, exposing the want between them. Noticing the slightly coarser, black hair on her lover's mound, Aven couldn't help but run her fingers through it and also be comforted at the realization that her lover looked very similar to her own anatomy.

Crying out in satisfaction and closing her eyes, Merrill knew that her lover's tongue was only inches from reaching its target. "Yes! Luin… Take me! Please don't stop… whatever you do, don't stop!"

Tasting the sweetness of her lover, the exotic taste of want and ecstasy combined with the asari's own yearnings made it all the more intoxicating. The predatory nature of the Ardat-Yakshi was welling up inside of Aven. Barely able to contain the need to join, the asari focused on using her tongue to pleasure her lover. She imagined what her own reaction would be if their roles were reversed and tried to maintain a steady rhythm with her tongue. She had never actually been with another and had only seen vids of intercourse and mating rituals before being placed at the monastery and was going on instinct and her own need; her lover seemed to be pleased with her efforts.

Merrill's head was tilted to the side and her body was arched into the waiting mouth of Luin. She had never felt such pleasure and could not help herself from screaming out. Her toes curled up as waves of delight ran through her. "More… Oh, oh… Yes!" Wanting for the two to merge into one, Merrill longed to have her lover penetrate her, to be inside of her.

As if sensing her lover's needs and responding to her own, Aven's mind started reaching out for the alien's. Her eyes changed to black, as the meld was initiated. Strange thoughts, pleasure, longing, the need for fulfillment washed into Aven's mind. The asari was touching the mind of the… _the elf, Merrill._ _Her name is Merrill and she is an elf!_ Language and understanding were shared between the two from the meld… then fear, overwhelming fear from Merrill started to penetrate the thoughts of the asari.

The passion from her lover was amazing and Merrill gave into the pleasure. Just at its height she felt something… touching her mind… _No, stop!_ As the thoughts formed in her mind, she could sense the presence of the… _asari, Aven._ _Nooo… what are you doing?_ Panic took over when Merrill felt the mental invasion. Out of desperation, the elf attempted to push Aven off of her and in doing so, caused Aven's wound to open. Merrill could feel the warm, sticky blood on her hand and used it to summon a demon from the Beyond.

The same Desire demon that Merrill had visited before waited for her. Merrill's survival instinct took over, as she called the demon to her and filtered it into her thoughts. _Come to me… Come into my mind… Help me!_ Merrill could feel the demon enter her and the power of summoning a creature to be invaded by Aven added to her climax.

Aven was aware of the intrusion, but could feel the strength in spirit that had been called. Her powers and needs turned to the demon and with a rush of excitement, Aven consumed the demon through Merrill. Her need to feed was satiated and the joining had not fully been broken. With the demise of the demon, Aven climaxed in a way that she did not think was possible, while Merrill could feel the release too and for a moment enjoyed the sensation of her lover coming, the demon being consumed and the use of blood magic.

The two broke apart, Merrill collapsing on the ground. Her screams of passion were now muffled cries of sadness, betrayal, and fear of her own power. Aven had not known such satisfaction, but as she came down from the high, the realization of what she had done hit her. She had tried to consume the very mind of the one person that had cared for her. The euphoria of the kill was waning, as self-loathing started to displace it. Though she now understood Merrill's language, she did not have the words to explain her actions.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Thank you all for continuing to follow this story. I really enjoy all of your feedback, follows, favorites and PMs - so please keep sending them!_

_Special thanks to Bebus for your edits and encouragement!_

Chapter 5: Enlightenment

A guilt fueled pleasure burned through the Ardat-Yakshi. She had not melded in centuries and had almost forgotten the effect that a successful meld had on her. A pure euphoric power pulsed through Aven's core. It fed her addiction for possessing another completely and allowed her to know the soul of another – to see their life, to feel their emotions and then to have their life fade away and enter her soul. By fully melding with a partner, Aven felt high and alive. Her meld with Merrill was no different in the effects that she felt after its completion. It had been the purest form of melding and satisfaction for the Ardat-Yakshi.

Images of all three of her past melds came into her mind. The ghosts of her victims' souls surfaced after each meld, to serve as eternal reminders to Aven of her nature. She closed her eyes tightly and let them come into focus. With her first meld, she had been young and barely understood what was happening. In the following melds, it had been easy to give into her nature and let herself act on instinct. All had been beautiful and had satiated her needs, fueling her compulsion, but Merrill was different. With Merrill, her heart had begged her to let the elf live and stop the meld, but the predator within her was stronger and did not listen or care about her heart's needs.

_It had been so easy before. I just let it all happen and in the end, I felt alive and fulfilled by those that opened their mind to me. But with Merrill… I couldn't stop myself. Goddess I wanted to stop. I could feel her pleasure and her trust in me give way to pain and fear. I did that to her._

Aven pulled her naked form into a ball; her body was shaking from the discharge of her biotics and the feeding of her obsession. Waves of pleasure surged through her core. She had experienced both sexual pleasure and the fullness of the consumption of another's soul. But Aven's satisfaction had come with a high price, one that she was just now experiencing. Betrayal of her friend, her caretaker, her lover was that cost and it left her feeling a hatred for herself that she had not known.

_What have I done? No wonder I was sent away from my family, from my people. I am a monster, not worthy of living! Those things that attacked the monastery should have taken me too!_

Closing her eyes and trying to shut out the world around her, Aven's mind began playing back the images taken from Merrill and the demon. She tried to push them out, but they were fresh and elicited very strong emotions; they were part of the addiction.

A young and willful elf child came into her mind: _Innocence_.

The youth was only first learning of her inner magical abilities. She was alone and had summoned a 'friend' from the other world: _Companionship_.

While playing with her friend from the Beyond, the elf was caught by an elder and disciplined: _Shame. Embarrassment_.

Time passed by and the girl was now an adolescent. She was being trained to use her powers: _Pride. Accomplishment_.

A large gathering was held, with many others that looked similar to the girl. During this gathering, the elf was given away to another clan to become First to a powerful Keeper: _Abandonment. Confusion_.

Something old and powerful, a part of her history had been found - the Eluvian: M_ystery. Addiction_.

The Keeper was kind and affectionate, but also strict and traditional. Her new clan was mistrustful of the Keeper's First and soon the elf turned inward for solace: _Isolation. Misunderstanding_.

Strangers arrived at her clan and the face of a human female appeared, and a name. Hawke: _Lust. Longing_.

There were others with Hawke and soon the elf was part of group and on a grand adventure. She spent as much time with the human as she could. She wanted the human to see her as special, as her match. The feelings were not returned, but instead friendship and fellowship: _Companionship. Heartbreak._

She was compelled to return again to her clan to fulfill her need to complete the Eluvian. Death. Death was all she found: _Sadness. Anger._

The blood of her people flowed across her hands as she cut them down: _Power. Regret_.

The time came for the elf to leave her friends behind to seek solitude and the Eluvian's mysteries: _Conflict. Melancholy_.

With the absence of others, the elf turned to summoning demons through her blood magic and thought of controlling them or using them as a type of perverse teacher: _Self-loathing. Despair_.

Then another elf appeared, and more death. The Eluvian: _Corruption. Evil.  
_

Darkness filled her soul, as she was able to see what fueled the Eluvian and how much the relic had cost her: _Horror. Betrayal_.

When she was feeling nothing but despair for where her life had taken her, another appeared. A beautiful, blue skinned woman who depended on the elf and gave her purpose: _Trust. Hope_.

This time, the feelings were requited and the elf felt something new: _Love_.

Through the meld, Aven experienced Merrill's life in an instant. She saw and felt everything that the elf had ever known. Shame welled within her at her inability to break the meld and in her lust for consuming Merrill. Merrill's very soul had forever been burned into Aven.

_I couldn't stop... I needed more and couldn't stop myself._

Her memory of the meld then turned to the Desire demon that had been summoned and consumed. It had no drawn out history and was more a form of energy than an actual creature. Want, lust, control, possession and evil were all that it had to offer, but it had a soul. By summoning the demon and allowing Aven to complete her meld, Merrill had been spared.

_I feel no regret for you, demon. Your death is no more regrettable than that of any other monster._

Aven had never felt such confliction before and could not bring herself to open her eyes and look at the elf. She knew what she would see... hatred. The thought made her feel sick. Her mind replayed the meld again and with each image, she despised her actions even more.

_She is so like me. We have both been cast out from our people and she trusted me. She actually loved me and I... I violated everything. For what?_

Tears started to form in Aven's eyes. She wanted to scream or feel pain, anything to expel the realization of her actions.

* * *

_What did she do to me?_

When the meld had broken, Merrill had pushed the asari away, taken a few steps and then collapsed. The emotions from the meld and her own use of blood magic overwhelmed her. She screamed out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. Between the energy that was needed to summon the demon and the effects of the meld, her body felt weak and shook uncontrollably. Her head hurt, like something had been pulled out of it, causing the elf to hold it tightly. Merrill backed away from Aven and fell to the floor of the cave.

_No! Aven... you were going to kill me... Why?_

The coldness of the floor felt soothing against the skin of the elf. Merrill pressed her head against the cold stones and tried to hold back the tears forming in her eyes. Images of the meld flashed before her and the emotions of everything that had happened were tied in with each image.

Images of a small child being indulged by two older asari and a home that the child had with them came into focus: _Safety_.

Within seconds, time passed and the child had grown into a young woman that was experiencing her first crush and sexual encounter with another exotic creature that looked almost avian: _Lust. Pleasure_.

The same young woman started to initiate her first sexual meld and then something happened that was unexpected, as her lover's soul was consumed by her very mind: _Yearning. Horror_.

Watching in terror as her lover died in her arms, the asari knew that she was the cause, but not understanding why or what had happened: _Death. Confusion. _

The meld had brought a yearning that ran deep within the young asari. She wanted more and was able to find two others before her parent's caught her in the act of consuming her victim: _Embarrassment_. _Addiction._

Sitting with her parents in a sterile medical facility, the youth listened as her condition was explained to her. The adults were all crying as the girl was labeled Ardat-Yakshi. Her parents reacted very poorly to the news and started to fight: _Disgust. Blame_.

Soon after finding out what she was, the youth was taken from her home to live out her life in a monastery with others like her: _Abandonment. Shame_.

At the monastery, the woman grew and time passed by. There was a sense of community, but everything was hollow and sterile: _Solitude. Independence_.

Haunting shrieks echoed through the halls of the monastery, as it came under attack by terrible creatures that turned her sisters into horrible monsters. Instincts to flee caused the asari to run away from the invaders and hide while her home was destroyed: _Terror. Loneliness_.

When hope was starting to leave the asari, she found supplies and a ship that she could escape her planet and find something new: _Hope. Freedom_.

Not knowing what to do when her vessel hit an asteroid field, the ship was damaged and crashed on a planet. During the chaos, the asari was vitally injured and saw her own blood flow out of her: _Pain. Fear._

An alien creature, beautiful and mysterious took the wounded asari into her home and nursed her body and spirit: _Kindness. Trust_.

The stranger shared her home and then her very essence and the asari felt something that she had never known before: _Love_.

_She loves me._

In that moment, during the height of their climax, Merrill had felt such ecstasy and power and fear. She had seen the end of her life through the mind of her lover. The realization terrified her, to the point that she had summoned a demon using Aven's blood. Then release. Tortured, the demon had writhed and screamed in its last minutes of life outside of the Beyond. Merrill had let the demon into her mind and in doing so, had unknowingly offered it as a sacrifice to Aven.

_How could she love me and try to hurt me? Why?_

The answer came to her immediately.

_Because it is her nature, because she is Ardat-Yakshi. Yes, I know what that is... I know all that is Aven._

Merrill did not know what to feel. The elf had given herself to the asari in every way that she knew how to. She had opened her heart, her mind and her body to Aven and in doing so; the asari was able to take in the very essence of Merrill. In that moment, they shared a lifetime of memories and feelings, an understanding of being isolated and alone and together found each other. Then everything changed and Merrill had found herself being consumed by her lover.

_It is her nature._

Closing her eyes and trying to focus back on the sequence of events, Merrill could still feel the wanting caresses of the asari on her skin, on her breasts, in her kisses, and within her. The mere memory caused a rush of sweet warmth between Merrill's legs, and the desire, the _need _for release returned... accompanied by the same heart-wrenching fear.

_Aven._

Memories of the Desire demon then filled her thoughts. Summoning it had been easy and letting it into her mind, tricking it and feeling it die brought satisfaction to the elf. Merrill had enjoyed the feeling of consuming the power within the demon and the rush of strength that it gave to her.

_What does that make me... if I too enjoyed the death of the demon? It was so easy to lure it from the Beyond… it was more than willing to come to me!_

She forced her eyes open and looked around the cave for the asari. It took only seconds for Merrill to find her. The woman was naked, balled up and her body was shaking. Muffled sobs echoed through the cave and damp tears streamed down her face. Her eyes were tightly shut and she looked tormented.

_Luin... Aven...My love... You are in pain._

Seeing the broken form of her lover drew a deep sadness from within the elf, from a place of loneliness she understood all too well. She had seen the life that Aven experienced and even though she knew the intent, could not completely condemn her for her actions.

_We are not so different from each other and I would gladly use my magic to summon another demon to be with her._

The realization of her own feelings hit Merrill hard. She understood what it was for Aven to be an Ardat-Yakshi and all of the shame and loneliness that went with it, just because of her nature.

_Being a blood mage is not so different and I have more blood on my hands than she does._

The light inside the cave was starting to fade and the temperature was dropping. The fire was now nothing more than embers, giving off a faint glow. Shivering, Merrill wrapped herself in a blanket and then moved to get the fire going, but she couldn't take her eyes off of the naked body of Aven.

* * *

The asari had fallen into a state of twilight sleep. Images of her trying to consume Merrill kept coming into her thoughts. Overwhelming guilt pulsed through her, mixed with absolute euphoria at the demise of the demon. The taste of both haunted her.

_No! Stop! Don't do this... not to Merrill... not to her! No!_

Suddenly warmth surrounded her. Softness and a smell that was familiar were upon her senses. As if someone read her mind, she clung to the comfort that had been given to her and slowly opened her eyes. Her vision was blurry from all the tears, but she could feel the warmth of the elf standing over her.

"Merrill." The name sounded strange on her lips, but it was so familiar too. She struggled to make herself look at the elf's face, when all that she felt was shame for her actions. Tears started streaming from her eyes and covered her cheeks. "I do not even know how to explain my actions. I am so... so sorry for what I did. I will leave you and you will not have to look upon me again."

Merrill's expression had been that of stone and her eyes looked like they held such hurt in them. But when Aven spoke of leaving, the elf's expression changed. It almost looked like she winced in pain.

"I don't want you to leave... Aven." Merrill looked longingly into the asari's eyes.

The elf's voice was quiet, almost a whisper and her accent was unlike anything that the asari had heard before. The musical qualities were still there, but now Aven understood the words. "I tried to..." Aven choked on her tears.

Placing a hand on the cheek of the asari and gently wiping away her tears with her thumb, Merrill held her gaze. "I know what you did. I know everything about you, Aven Calantha. You shared your entire life with me and so much more."

Aven's hand instinctively met that of Merrill's. It was more than the asari could ever hope to hear. "Merrill... I, I do not know what to say. I am a monster."

Merrill's thumb moved to Aven's lips, "Say nothing. I am your match, Aven. You are no more a monster that I am." Merrill closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I have done very bad things and have spent so much time alone to try and keep others away." She looked at Aven with tear filled eyes. "I am not innocent and I have hurt a lot of people."

"I would have killed you with my meld. I thought that I could control it... that I could stop it, but I did not." Aven did not know why the elf was being kind to her, she did not feel that she was worthy of it. "I would not be able to live with myself if I had succeeded."

"But you didn't. I am a blood mage. I have been feared my whole life because of it, but I can summon demons using blood to cast my spell. I can break through the Beyond and pull them into my world... into me." Merrill's eyes widened as she explained herself. "Do you know what that means?"

Aven shook her head. All she knew was shame for her actions and amazement that the elf was still holding her.

A small smile formed on Merrill's lips. "It means that you can be true to your nature and I can pull all of the monsters from the Beyond to fulfill you... and me. It means that you can meld with me and not hurt me."

Dumbfounded by what she was hearing and holding her breath to be sure that she did not miss a word, Aven realized the implications of what Merrill was saying. "You would let me... join... with you… again?"

There was no hesitation in her answer. "Yes." Merrill lowered herself and moved to sit next to Aven, careful to still keep hold of the asari's hand. She pulled Aven closer, allowing for more contact and continued. "I very much want to be with you again."

"I am a monster! How can you give yourself to a monster?" Aven felt that she did not deserve the sympathy of Merrill or her love, even though she desperately wanted them.

Merrill squeezed Aven's hand and lightly kissed her wet cheeks. "You are an Ardat-Yakshi, not a monster. Those things that invaded your home... those are monsters. I am not like any other that you have been with." The elf stopped and looked away from the asari. She harbored her own guilt over both her enjoyment of the death of the demon and her own past. She inhaled deeply to help clear her mind. "Aven, I use blood magic to summon demons and am not so innocent."

"I hurt you and I betrayed your trust. How can you stand to be near me?" Aven looked away and to the fire that was now burning brightly.

"I don't fear you anymore than I fear myself. I was scared at first because I didn't understand." Merrill lightly touched the Ardat-Yakshi's face to get her full attention. "I have never had an experience like that before. You make me feel things that I've not known, but want to keep feeling. I have had demons try to take over my mind and when I could feel your presence inside me, it scared me." She leaned in and kissed the asari's lips and then rested her head against Aven's. "I am not afraid anymore."

"I don't want you to fear me, but I cannot stop myself." Aven whispered to Merrill and was waiting for the elf to pull away.

"I know… and you don't have to. I want to be with you fully and I understand exactly what that means." Merrill's voice was almost pleading and then a serious expression crossed her face. Her eyes narrowed slightly and any evidence of a smile left her lips. She lowered her voice to just above a whisper when she spoke. "I love you."

The words were said with such earnest and were words that Aven had longed to hear for her entire life. Warmth started to fill her body and she felt lightheaded. She could not help but to smile at Merrill and she took the elf into her arms. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"I love you as well."


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: So this is the start of the evil that I spoke of at the beginning. Again, to remind you, this is not meant to be a happy tale. Hopefully, you will want to continue to read and see what happens._

_As always, I very much welcome any and all constructive feedback and I love to get your reviews, PMs, follows and favorites._

_Thank you so much to Bebus for all of your honesty and edits – I am a better writer as a result of your collaboration!_

Chapter 6: The Taint

Unnoticed and quietly feeding on the energy being released from the asari and the elf, the Eluvian sat covered in the corner of the cave with a faint glow pulsating from it. The power used between the women to summon a denizen from the Beyond and then to consume its very essence did not go unnoticed by the ancient mirror_._ Raw power, much like that of the Eluvian was rare and for it to be so close to the source of it made the Eluvian hum with want._ More._

Ancient, powerful and mystical, the Eluvian used to be so much more than it currently was. It had been created to be a portal to the Beyond, crafted by the elves and once used in the Tevinter Imperium to allow movement between Thedas and the Beyond. It became the bringer of the taint and capable of creating Darkspawn from those who exposed themselves to it too often. The Eluvian transformed into the ultimate corruptor, with the purpose to feed on innocence. The relic had once known power and its hunger was fueled by the blood of those desperate for its _gifts_. As those around it were wholly corrupted, war broke out, leaving it to fade away and lay forgotten as time passed by. The Eluvian thrived on blood and the souls contained within. _More._

Greedy and patient, it now sat waiting to be fully awakened. The elf had shown promise and the Eluvian had tasted her power, but combined with this new species, the Eluvian could feel its time to return was at hand. Now it just needed to be fed, for the ultimate sacrifice to be made and the demon within could come alive. The Ardat-Yakshi was just what it needed, combined with the corruptible power of the blood mage. It was almost time... it could feel it. _More._

* * *

The fire in the cave was burning down to embers, as the morning light slowly entered. The night had been cold as the season turned to winter, but the occupants of the cave were oblivious to the chill, as thick sleeping furs and body heat kept them warm.

Merrill woke first; the feeling of the strong arms of her lover holding her tightly filled the elf with a sense of completeness. Gone was the loneliness and chill in the morning air, instead, there was companionship and a radiance that she had never known. The quiet in the cave allowed Merrill to focus on the steady breathing of her lover. Merrill could tell that Aven was still sleeping, but even in dreams, was bound to the elf.

_I love you Aven Calantha._

Taking hold of the asari's hand and squeezing it gently, Merrill closed her eyes and thought back to the past weeks. Her life had changed so much since the asari entered her life. Everything made sense now: her powers, what she had endured, it was all to allow for this moment... to let in Aven and all of her experiences. Her existence was no longer lonely. Suddenly everything seemed to have meaning and purpose.

_My body fits perfectly against yours. You can wrap yourself around me, like a blue blanket. Oh, and the things that you can make me feel while wrapped inside you!_

The thought made the elf giggle and a rush of warmth spread between her legs, the warmth of want. Merrill knew that her lover was still sleeping, but lying firmly snugged into her body and her hand placed only inches from the elf's breast, Merrill's thoughts went to carnal lust for the asari. Part of her wanted to wake her up so she could feel the woman's tongue press into her own, while Aven's hands would explore the elf's body.

_Oh Aven... the way you make me feel! _

Merrill closed her eyes and started moving her hand down her body. She could feel the wetness between her legs and the pulsing want of release. Moving so that she was resting on her back, but still in contact with Aven, she parted her legs and moved her fingers to the swollen bundle of nerves longing to be stroked.

_Darkness surrounded her, a stifling blanket that dulled her senses and brought a feeling of fear into her thoughts. A voice whispered her name, speaking so softly that she could barely make sense of the words. It wanted something, but she did not know what. An uneasy feeling ran through her, as she tried to move forward... tried to find her way out. She knew that someone or something else was there too, but there was only the darkness._

"_Where am I? I don't understand!" Aven called out, but her words were hollow and barely audible._

_Dread ran through her... she needed to find something. She could not see anything, but it was there... she could feel it watching her. _

"_Where are you? What do you want with me?" Panic started to well inside of her as she tried to move and found that her body would not respond._

_Silence was her answer. Her mind filled with all sorts of fearful thoughts and she knew that it was close by. Fear wanted to take over, but she fought her response, closed her eyes and tried to hear the voice... to make sense of the words. She was not alone. _

"_We must do this." A form stepped out of the darkness, as if parting a veil. The speaker was familiar and filled the asari with warmth._

"_Merrill? Merrill… is that you?" Aven squinted hard to try and make the shapes come into focus._

"_I am here Aven. Do not be afraid. We must listen to it… it will give us a power unlike any other." The elf stepped closer and her face lacked the warmth that it usually held._

"_I'm scared, Merrill. I have a bad feeling… I don't trust the darkness." Aven yearned to touch her lover and feel some sort of reassurance. When she looked closer though, she noticed that the elf was holding a small bundle._

"_Blood..." An evil and seductive voice hissed out in the darkness, it was the same voice that she had heard before Merrill had appeared. "Give me blood." The voice was getting louder and more desperate in its needs. "If you sacrifice an innocent, you will know power. I will feed you such that you have never tasted."_

"_We must obey." Her lover sounded convinced and unafraid by the ominous voice._

_There was no shape or form to the voice in the dark, only feelings and visions of what it wanted. Images flashed across her mind: melding with her lover... an innocent victim to feed the voice... a blade, cutting swiftly into them... a sacrifice, blood... more blood, a demon... one that was very powerful... consuming the essence of the demon and feeling all of its power... satisfaction... darkness._

_Blood flowed across her hands; the red was a stark contrast to her blue. Her lover watched her, feeling everything that she was experiencing. They were together, united in power and in the sacrifice. They fed on what the voice gave them and from it, were fulfilled. _

_She could feel the satisfaction of the kill and shared it with her lover. The voice was laughing a blood curdling laugh that echoed through the darkness. The victim of their want lay before her and a light seemed to illuminate the corpse. A small dead body was at her feet, blood pouring from the wound torn across its throat and then it vanished, but the laughter was still there._

"_No! It's not worth the cost!" She screamed back at the voice. _

_There was nothing but darkness. _

Aven woke up with a feeling of being watched. She knew the feeling came not from Merrill, but something sinister and unknown. A sense of unease ran through her as the dream lingered in her mind. Most disturbing to her was the euphoric feeling of consuming the demon: the power contained within it was the _ultimate_ high. Her mind then went to the lifeless form of the young child that had been at her feet and a repulsive feeling, like a chill crept into her.

_I can never let that happen. _Nausea started to burn her throat, as her mind tried to justify what she had felt in the dream. T_hat voice, it was so sinister and demanding._

Aven shut her eyes tightly and tried to fill her mind with other thoughts. She could feel her lover next to her and knowing that Merrill was within her reach brought an immediate sense of safety.

_It was just a bad dream. It did not happen. _She exhaled deeply, in an attempt to purge the nightmare.

Hearing heavy breathing next to her and sensing the warmth of Merrill, Aven did her best to take her mind off of the nightmare and instead focused on the one person that loved her for who and what she was, Merrill. Aven shut her eyes for a moment and took in the familiar smell of her home: the burning fire, the herbs drying, and the scent of Merrill. All helped to ground her.

The dream was fading away and with it, all of the negative emotions that had accompanied it. Her eye was drawn to her lover's movements. Merrill's arm was swiftly moving back and forth, in a frantic rubbing motion. The elf's eyes were closed, her back arched and her legs spread apart. Aven smiled, knowing what her lover was doing and grateful for the distraction from her nightmare.

* * *

"Well that is one way to wake me up."

Hearing Aven's voice, Merrill's breath caught in her throat. She quickly opened her eyes and stopped her progression. "Oh... I was..." Her words were more like grunts and she felt her body flush with embarrassment and want.

"I know what you were doing." Aven's voice was soft, almost a whisper.

"I… I was cold. It's very… cold in here and…" Merrill's voice caught in her throat. She could feel her body flush, but the burning between her legs was there.

Aven watched the reaction of her lover and suppressed a smile. "Yes, it is cold in here… I like to watch you. It makes me feel…" Aven licked her lips, "It makes me want you."

Merrill's eyes widened, "Ya…You like to watch me?"

Aven smiled and could not hold in her laughter. "Very much." She pushed herself closer and kissed the elf's lips fully. Her tongue probed for Merrill's and she hummed with delight when she found its match.

Coming up for air, Merrill narrowed her eyes seductively and gave a nervous giggle. "You do ha? Well why don't you join in then?

Running her hands through the elf's hair, Aven happily accepted the invitation and kissed Merrill's throat roughly. Her tongue drew slick patterns onto the soft flesh, and then she sucked hard until a mark appeared. "You're mine!" Her hands slowly left the elf's hair and started moving toward the warm, wetness that waited between her lover's legs and she purred with satisfaction.

"Whatever you do... Don't stop!" The words were pulled from her with a panting desperation and Merrill could barely contain her excitement at Aven's advances.

Merrill felt her body tense with excitement when Aven's hands started to explore her body. The anticipation of her lover's caresses, the feeling of her tongue and Aven's body heat all made Merrill ache with desire. Every part of her longed for her lover to take her, to make love to her and in their intimacy, become one with her.

Groans, panting and cries of lust echoed off the cave walls. The fire slowly died out and the sun filled the outside world, but in the cave only the needs of Merrill and Aven mattered. The Eluvian, hidden behind its sheet, waited for the sacrifice and the release of power from the two. It glowed, unnoticed by the women and waited for them to join. The power of their coupling was enough to feed its nature. All the time, it sat... waiting.

Knowing that in the height of their passion, Merrill would not only attain physical release but also join with her lover's mind helped to fuel her desire. It was coming: the wholeness and comfort of Aven, knowing no barriers and using no words, just the soul of her lover filling her and uniting them in a way that Merrill had not thought possible. Her body reacted to Aven's touches with love and familiarity and she knew instinctively how to respond to Aven in order to please her too. Each stroke and kiss caused a cascade of want and desire within Merrill and the elf knew that all of her needs would be fulfilled by her lover.

Every part of her would be Aven's and every part of Aven would be Merrill's. They would soon be one, riding out the waves of pleasure and elation through each other. Then the hunger would come and at the apex of their bliss, the Ardat-Yakshi would need to feed and Merrill would call upon her power to summon a sacrifice. The cognition of it all made the elf shiver with a craving that could only be filled by Aven.

A gentle push against her mind filled her consciousness. Merrill opened herself to the presence of Aven. She quickly looked around the cave and saw the glint of steel within arm's reach; the blade was close by and ready to be used. Knowing where the blade rested brought the final peace she needed to take in her lover.

Love and gratification swept through Merrill as Aven's mind entered hers. The raw emotion of her lover caressed her spirit, while Aven's thoughts started to become her own. _ I feel you... I know you... I love you._ The thoughts flowed from both of the women as they moved closer to their joint climax.

There was a flash, for just a moment Merrill could sense something different in her lover's thoughts.

_Innocent blood... and power._

A darkness and a desire that she had not felt before ran through Aven. It was barely noticeable and seemed to lie in Aven's peripheral consciousness, but Merrill could feel it... like a tickle. It was something distant, but there was a familiarity of it too. Before she could dwell on it more, Merrill was pulled into Aven's will. The nature of her lover was taking over and it was time to feed it.

Without looking, Merrill blindly grasped the handle of her knife. A quick flinch of pain, a trickle of blood and the elf was in the Beyond. It took only seconds to find a demon waiting to possess her.

_Please help me... I need you!_ Merrill called to the monster seductively. _You can make me powerful… come to me._

The demon could sense the desperation within the elf and a hunger for her corporeal form took over. It moved closer and the elf allowed it to enter her.

An immediate change within Merrill occurred: her muscles tensed, her vision blurred and everything around her slowed. The demon was settling into her mind, as the being known as Merrill started to fade away. She could feel the evil of the demon's intentions course through her consciousness and its power fill her form.

Aven's nature took over, as she started to consume the mind of the demon. Its very essence was pulled from the Beyond and Merrill's mind, simultaneously. The Ardat-Yakshi cried out at her victory and then the demon was gone, consumed.

Merrill felt it all, as her world slowly started to come back into view. She could feel the residual energy of the joining and the physical presence of Aven.

The release was complete and the women lay, glistening with sweat. Their muscles were sore and their minds were their own again. The union had filled them with pleasure and comfort; as another demon was sacrificed for their glory.

Aven held Merrill tightly against her body, enjoying the completeness of their actions. Merrill in turn relished in the embrace of her lover, but she was left with a feeling of slight unease.

_What was that? It was almost like a voice that was there... one that I've heard before. _

There had been something in Aven's mind that caused a cold feeling in the pit of Merrill's stomach. It was something just out of reach, but something familiar too. It made the elf feel uneasy, but it also intrigued her.

_I must know more._

"Aven, did you feel that too?" Merrill spoke softly to her lover. She could feel her breath on the back of her neck; Aven's breathing was steady and rhythmic. "Aven?"

There was no response from the asari, so Merrill turned to face her.

_She's asleep._

Merrill watched the steady rise and fall of her lover's chest; the asari looked peaceful and content. A protective instinct washed over Merrill. Aven looked vulnerable in her slumber and Merrill could not shake the feeling that had lingered from their meld.

_I know that feeling... that desire... but how?_

Unsettled by the cloud that seemed to have fallen over her; Merrill sat up and looked around the cave. She could tell that it was now the afternoon and her stomach growled its unhappiness at the absence of food.

"I'm just hungry... I've used a lot of... energy and now I'm hungry. That's all!" Merrill shook her head at the logic of her answer and then she saw the outline of the Eluvian and a cold, sinking feeling hit her in the heart.

"No! You will not cause me any more pain!" She saw the blade lying next to her, covered in a light coating of her clotted blood. With anger and rage, she picked up the weapon, stood and ran towards the relic. Using all of her strength and angst, she thrust the blade through the sheet and into the center of it. Hearing the shatter of glass, the elf dropped the blade and felt relief wash over her.

"You will NEVER hurt anyone again!" Merrill turned her back on the mirror and returned to the side of her lover and breathed out a sigh of relief.

The blood that had once coated the blade disappeared, as the blade fell to the floor. The shards that had been broken slowly reformed, as the glow returned to the Eluvian.

* * *

Deep in the Brecilian forest, a lone elf sat trying to find solace and peace. He had been drawn back to the depths of a hidden cave, as if called by the forest itself to return home. The forest had once held mystery and familiarity but since the Blight, it seemed empty and only a memory. It had been his clan's home, but now it seemed empty and a reminder of all that had been lost. The Blight had not been kind to the Dalish clans and now the forest just seemed to serve as a reminder of the taint that now filled his soul. So much had been lost and even his victory over the Archdemon seemed empty.

"Why am I here? What is it that you want of me?" The elf called out and hearing only echoes, he lowered his head and closed his eyes. The cave reminded him of a crypt and his mind was taken back to the day when his life had been forever changed.

"Where is it?" He had remembered the maze that he and Tamlen had coursed to find the ancient mirror. It had spoken to his friend and spread its evil to both of them. Guilt at Tamlen's loss still crept into his mind. He had felt the need to seek out the evil relic and felt a sense of discontent at its absence.

The chamber was now empty and darkness was starting to overtake the cave. The elf decided that he would camp there and contemplate what he had been feeling lately. Tormented by visions of Darkspawn and feeling the need to find his way again, Savek of the Grey Wardens looked deeply into his campfire, as if trying to find the answer within the flames.

"I have been The Grey Warden, the Hero of Ferelden, and the Dalish Hunter, why can I not just be Savek?" His voice was filled with pain as he spoke to the fire blazing before him. The weight of being a Grey Warden and the sacrifice that was required pressed upon him heavily.

The taint of Darkspawn blood was now part of his existence and the price he had paid to become one of the Grey Wardens. It filled him with knowledge of a world he had only known through stories. The Blight and the coming of the Archdemon were tales told around campfires and spoke of heroes and deeds of champions. Now he had become one of those stories and knew the real cost of facing such an evil foe.

Since his Joining, Savek felt the calling of the taint, could feel the evil that had once ravaged Thedas and was haunted by dreams of Darkspawn. He had become isolated from those that he once loved and had made sacrifices for the good of men. Others looked to him as a leader or a savior and all seemed to want more from him than he could give. The forest offered solitude and he had hoped that it would restore his soul, but it had only caused more vacancy.

A rage overtook the usually controlled Warden and he screamed his anger at the emptiness. "I must find that mirror!" The ghostly form of Tamlen entered his mind and fueled the bitterness that was starting to overtake him. Then the form of Morrigan turning away from him and walking through the relic. He had been tempted to join her, but he let her go and it still tore at his soul. "I will not fail you both again! So much has been destroyed by the evil of that... thing! I will find it!"

His rage subsided, but the hatred that welled inside him for the Eluvian did not. A sheen of sweat coated his muscular body and a feverish chill ran through him. The cave was still and void of any warmth, but Savek felt spent and lay down next to his fire.

His dreams of were filled with visions of a new threat. In them, he saw a familiar face, the face of a mage that had once been part of his clan, but like him, had left for her own purposes.

_Merrill... You sacrificed our people... Why?_ He tried to talk to the mage, but he was only there to watch.

The Eluvian, pulsing in a glow of pure evil, calling its taint to the mage and a strange, alluring creature. He heard the cry of a child... a human... that was being held by the alien.

_No! What are you doing? No! Please... Stop! No!_ Savek wanted to stop the pair from executing their plan, but he could not move and his pleas fell on deaf ears.

The beautiful blue creature raised the child to Merrill and together, they cut the throat of the innocent human.

_No!_

Blood spilled across the evil, twisted Eluvian and it pulsed with a demon to rival the Archdemon. Within minutes, the Fade opened and the demon was torn from it as the alien creature consumed its very essence. The creature screamed in agony as its life-force was sucked into the beautiful woman. The body of the human vanished and the Eluvian radiated the purest and brightest light that the Warden had seen.

_Why? How could you do this?_

The women both cried out in ecstasy and then turned to face Savek. Their eyes held the same light that streamed from the Eluvian and both wore smiles that made the Warden want to collapse in horror.

They each took a step closer to the cowering form of the Warden and then opened their mouths and wailed a shrill cry that made Savek's flesh crawl.

_You are of the Fade... Demons... Darkspawn... Blight!_

Savek woke up screaming. The sight of those creatures... those monsters... they were the faces of pure evil that would drain the world of any goodness. He had tasted their hunger and heard their call.

"I know what I have to do." He stood slowly, feeling lightheaded and weak from his dream. He knew the face of the mage, but the other one was completely foreign. "Damn it Merrill! What have you awakened? No matter, this time I will stop the Eluvian's evil. I will destroy it for good and watch it burn and you with it Merrill. You and your abomination will die."


End file.
